October 11 #Cathdate chat: He’s just not that into you.
Join us on Twitter tonight as we discuss: He’s just not that into you.
Q1: How do you know a relationship is working?
Q2: When is it time to walk away?
#Cathdate is hosted by Anthony Buono and Ave Maria Singles. Follow us and hashtag #Cathdate to join the discussion.
In loving memory of Daniel Yetman
On September 27, Paula wrote to us to share the sad news of her husband’s passing, and the beautiful story of their love. With her permission, we are honored to share her words with you here.
Dear Ave Maria Singles;
April 20, 2001 my husband Daniel wrote to me for the first time on this website. Our first date was May 5, 2001 and we entered into the sacrament of marriage June 8, 2002. On June 12, 2002 our marriage was blessed by John Paul II. We dedicated our home to Our Lord and Our Lady and spent our nine years of marriage trying to do God’s will in our lives, growing in our faith and sharing it with friends, family and strangers.
Many times in the car on the way home from Saturday morning Mass we would talk about growing old together and being the 80 year old couple at daily mass we would hope to one day become. We truly had a blessed marriage. Our plans of growing old together were not in God’s plan. On December 28, 2010 Dan was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He fought it valiantly and we would unite our different crosses, his of great suffering and mine of a wife watching her husband suffer to Christ’s cross on Calvery. Daniel had people praying for his healing all over the world. For 3 months after his diagnosis he would receive at least one if not two mass cards for healing a day in the mail. We know God heard many of those prayers because we experienced beautiful gifts and miracles of strength and courage but not the miracle we both wanted his healing.
July 20, 2011 while in the hospital something ruptured in his stomach the doctors could not repair and Daniel was told he had 2 days to live. He survived 3 days in the hospital and lived more in those final days than some people live in a lifetime. There were lines of people waiting in the corridor to say good bye to him and Daniel graciously received every one of them and almost as if inspired by Christ himself he had words of healing and hope for each person. It truly was a miracle.
Those last three days I shared my husband with everyone who came to his bed side. I silently prayed for our Lady to prepare him and make him presentable to her son. Daniel had lost close to 70 pounds and was a mere shadow of his former self. When I saw him at the funeral home I could not believe my eyes Daniel’s ruddy complexion and a fullness in his face had returned. I asked the funeral director what he had done to prepare Daniel and he said nothing that was the way he came home from the hospital.
Dan was not a saint in life but the same can be said for all of us. He desired to be a saint and grow in his faith. But I firmly believe with all my heart he died a saint and was received by Our Lady and she prepared him for her Son.
I have included my words spoken at his gravesite, it will help you understand the true miracle and beauty of his death. Ave Maria Singles was kind enough to allow me to retrieve his letters to me when we first met. When you enter into the sacrament of marriage as God desires you to and as I believe Daniel and I did you truly become one. I know because a piece of my heart is in heaven with him and nothing on this earth can fill that space he captured in my heart. God has a plan I must wait for it to unfold.
*************
July 28, 2011
God’s Ways are not our ways.
We ask why was Daniel taken so soon when so many people loved him and needed him? Why did he have to have such a horrible disease and have to suffer?
As his wife I walked this road to Calvary and Daniel’s cross was a heavy one however he chose to carry it and not run from it. From the moment he was diagnosed he accepted this cross with dignity and at times he struggled with the heavy burden of it. But he united it to Christ and his faith gave him courage and strength to persevere.
We all have our favorite memory of Daniel he touched the hearts of so many. He was an amazing person. He turned his life around when he rediscovered his faith in Jesus Christ and he never looked back.
He would tell you in the throes of his alcoholism he cried out to God to fill the empty shell of a man he had become, and he felt the finger of God touch his heart and he was changed in an instant and never drank again. He was gifted in the understanding of his faith and could eloquently explain it to anyone.
However, Daniel LIVED his faith every day – his love for the Eucharist fed him spiritually and physically.
He imparted his faith to his daughters by raising them in the Catholic Church and even on his hospital bed, he reinforced his wish for them to stay close to their faith.
The last 72 hours of his life would crush an ordinary man’s spirit, not Daniel. The doctors told him there was nothing they could do and for the next 72 hours, he made himself available to his friends and family, reconciling and helping each one with words they needed to hear and filling us with laughter. For those of you blessed to see him, cherish and reverence his advice.
What you need to hear and remember most about Daniel is his beautiful, amazing death. He was not afraid because he knew something greater awaited him.
About 4 hours before he died, he refused a shot of pain medicine.
He said he wanted the pain.
When he realized he was still getting it intravenously, unbeknownst to those with him, he pulled out his IV tube.
He spent 2 hours in utter agony, and we didn’t understand because we thought he was getting pain medicine through his IV tube. At 4 a.m. after 2 hours of sheer agony, the nurse discovered he had pulled out his port and was not getting any medicine.
He wanted to unite his suffering to Christ in the last hours of his life. He offered himself as a victim soul to accept all suffering with love so the ones he loved would be saved.
At 4:37 a.m. he died peacefully, and after we watched his heart stop beating, an immense smile came over his face that seemed to get bigger and bigger, and his face became radiant. I knew he was telling us he had met Jesus and Mary and was being ushered home.
Daniel lived his faith in every respect, and his work now begins. We have a powerful intercessor. Rest in peace, my beloved – I await the day I can see you again. Paula
September 27 #cathdate transcript
6stonejars Hello everyone. Good to be back. Ready to talk long distance relationships tonight? #cathdate -9:01 PM Sep 27th, 2011
threelittleowls @6stonejars Hi, Trista here! #cathdate I’m ready to chat! -9:03 PM
AveMariaSingles Tonight’s chat: long distance relationships. Go ahead & take a minute to introduce yourself. avemariasingles.wordpress.com #cathdate -9:04 PM
threelittleowls RT @AveMariaSingles: Tonight’s chat: long distance relationships. Go ahead & take a minute to introduce yourself. avemariasingles.wordpress.com #cathdate -9:04 PM
trinichiqn Nikki from Trinidad here #cathdate -9:05 PM Sep 27th, 2011
threelittleowls @nomoblues @AveMariaSingles How ya doing?#cathdate Glad to see someone else is in the chat! -9:05 PM
threelittleowls @trinichiqn Hey Nikki, welcome! #cathdate -9:06 PM
threelittleowls @AveMariaSingles I should mention my boyfriend and I recently started dating and are dealing 600 miles of distance. #cathdate -9:07 PM
6stonejars Does anyone have any long distance relationship experience? #cathdate -9:07 PM
AveMariaSingles @threelittleowls started this topic. 
What exactly are we talking about re: realities of long distance dating?#cathdate -9:07 PM
trinichiqn @threelittleowls Thanks. Hi to you too. #cathdate -9:07 PM
6stonejars Wow, Trista! That’s quite a distance. What are some realities to the situation? #cathdate -9:08 PM
palaminko @6stonejars Gonna be hit-n-run on tonight’s chat. I’ve got experience, but pretty much all bad. #cathdate -9:09 PM
trinichiqn @AveMariaSingles @threelittleowls Is it realistic? How to overcome obstacles #cathdate -9:09 PM
threelittleowls My reality: big distance, little funds, and no vacation time to work with. How to remain close when so far apart for long time? #cathdate -9:09 PM
trinichiqn @threelittleowls @AveMariaSingles I’m dealing with 2 different countries. he’s in the US, I’m in Trinidad #cathdate -9:10 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars How to know if we are authentically getting to know each other? How to stay spiritually and emotionally close? #cathdate -9:10 PM
6stonejars The biggest hurdle is getting together in person often enough, right? #cathdate -9:11 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars Most distance dating recommends seeing each other 2x a month but that’s not a reality for us and for@trinichiqn. #cathdate -9:11
threelittleowls @6stonejars Exactly! #cathdate What are your takes on that? -9:12 PM
palaminko @threelittleowls 1) Keep each other relevant. Ex: tell each other even about the mundane daily things. #cathdate -9:
6stonejars Writing and phone calls do help to get to know each other authentically. But in person experiences are necessary.#cathdate -9:13 PM
juliemrobison RT @6stonejars: Writing and phone calls do help to get to know each other authentically. But in person experiences are necessary. #cathdate -9:13 PM
palaminko @threelittleowls 2) Pray for each others intentions. Remember why you got into this & why it’s worth striving for#cathdate -9:14 PM
6stonejars What do you think about video chat when in person is not so possible? #cathdate -9:14 PM
threelittleowls @palaminko Very good advice! #cathdate -9:14 PM Sep 27th
palaminko @6stonejars good substitute…so long as you have speedy internet connections 
#cathdate -9:15 PM
trinichiqn @6stonejars skype and such is good #cathdate -9:15 PM
trinichiqn @palaminko @threelittleowls I pray a lot for obstacles, intentions, him, us, guidance, is this right #cathdate -9:16 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars Essential, for sure. It’s good to see facial expressions and seem closer. #cathdate -9:17 PM
threelittleowls @palaminko @6stonejars Yes, and I didn’t own a webcam either, so had to borrow others. Can be an issue.#cathdate -9:18 PM
trinichiqn @palaminko @threelittleowls after telling of my weekend, I was like I’m boring but it’s nice even the boring stuff#cathdate -9:18 PM
threelittleowls @palaminko It’s hard to know “why it’s worth striving for” when you barely know the person. Weird investment at the start. #cathdate -9:19 PM
6stonejars 90%+ of communication is non-verbal. So you really can’t get too far until you can experience the non-verbal.#cathdate -9:20 PM
6stonejars The investment made in writing and phone calls do help inspire wanting to meet in person. And it has to happen some how. #cathdate -9:22 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars What about after the first few meetings? How would you advise proceeding? #cathdate -9:24 PM
LuciadelCarmen6 RT @6stonejars: Writing and phone calls do help to get to know each other authentically. But in person experiences are necessary. #cathdate -9:25 PM
6stonejars After meeting in person, you should know if there was something there worth continuing. Write and call in between meetings. #cathdate -9:26 PM
6stonejars It’s costly and time consuming to meet in person. But it has to be done. And the return on investment can be HUGE!#cathdate -9:27 PM
AveMariaSingles It sounds as if time zones also present a challenge for @threelittleowls and @trinichiqn (for calls, web chats) #cathdate -9:28 PM
6stonejars Best to meet in person early on to determine if the connection is really there. If it is, you can get by with longer intervals. #cathdate -9:29 PM
trinichiqn @6stonejars something to think about #cathdate -9:29 PM
threelittleowls RT @6stonejars: It’s costly and time consuming to meet in person. But it has to be done. And the return on investment can be HUGE! #cathdate -9:30 PM
6stonejars How about willingness to move? Should that be considered before engaging in a long distance relationship?#cathdate -9:32 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars That has been my experience, yes.#cathdate -9:32 PM
trinichiqn @6stonejars Definitely. Even if it is unlikely you are going to have too. #cathdate -9:33 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars Temptations: Chastity may be a little easier (though not entirely) but many others like jealously pop up. Advice? #cathdate -9:34 PM
6stonejars I agree, it should. You can’t assume the other will move. If you can’t move, you need to discuss that early on.#cathdate -9:34 PM
palaminko @6stonejars Sorry if this has already been brought up…but there has to be an obtainable “endgame”. #cathdate -9:34
threelittleowls @6stonejars Yes, you really have to think about that. #cathdate -9:34 PM
palaminko @threelittleowls You’d face it the same as any relationship: lots of communication & trust. But you’ll have to work at it harder. #cathdate -9:36 PM
6stonejars Long distance helps chastity while focusing on learning about each other. Not sure what you mean about jealousy.#cathdate -9:36 PM
trinichiqn @6stonejars the unknown because you aren’t around each other regularly #cathdate -9:38 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars Oh, maybe about couples with closer or no distances, etc. #cathdate -9:38 PM
6stonejars I think those who make efforts with a long distance relationship are proving they are commitment minded and seriously interested. #cathdate -9:39 PM
threelittleowls RT @6stonejars: I think those who make efforts with a long distance relationship are proving they are commitment minded and seriously interested. #cathdate -9:40 PM
heaven_chill RT @6stonejars: I think those who make efforts with a long distance relationship are proving they are commitment minded and seriously interested. #cathdate -9:43 PM
trinichiqn @6stonejars It is a commitment and builds trust#cathdate -9:43 PM
6stonejars It seems for devout Catholics, long distance relationships provide a wider opportunity since devout Catholics are a minority. #cathdate -9:48 PM
palaminko @6stonejars That’s a good point and I think it’s a worthwhile consideration for Catholics in less populous areas.#cathdate -9:50 PM
6stonejars Even in high populous areas, devout Catholics meet lots of Catholics who don’t believe all the Church teaches.#cathdate -9:53 PM
palaminko @6stonejars Still, I’m only in favor if there’s 1) regular chances to see each other & 2) a plan to end up in the same place soon #cathdate -9:53 PM
palaminko @6stonejars Then isn’t the strategery to be where all the devout ones are? #cathdate -9:54 PM
trinichiqn @palaminko @6stonejars or evangelize to the less devout #cathdate -9:55 PM
palaminko @trinichiqn I like your tactic! Though, admittedly, I have a very terrible track record with evangelization via dating.#cathdate -9:57 PM
6stonejars That’s just it. The devout ones are spread out all over the world, minorities even among their own in high Catholic areas.#cathdate -9:58 PM
6stonejars Another fast hour. Thank you all for participating. We will see you back here in two weeks. And see you on www.6stonejars.com. #cathdate -10:01 PM
AveMariaSingles Transcript will be posted soon for anyone who is interested. #cathdate -10:02 PM
September 27 #Cathdate: Long distance
Is long distance the wrong distance? Join us tonight on Twitter at 9 p.m. for a #Cathdate chat discussing the long distance relationships.
#Cathdate is hosted by Anthony Buono, founder of Ave Maria Singles, and by Ave Maria Singles. Invite your friends!
September 6 #cathdate transcript
AveMariaSingles Tonight: is “the one” a fallacy, as -@palaminkosaid? Or goes God have one person in mind for you? Join us!#cathdate -8:27
AveMariaSingles We’ll start with introductions. Say hello, share a blog if you like. #cathdate -8:32 PM
nomoblues @AveMariaSingles #cathdate I’m nomoblues of CA, blog link in my profile. -8:33 PM
6stonejars Anthony Buono, 6stonejars.com. Hope everyone had a great Labor Day weekend. Looking forward to tonight’s chat.#cathdate -8:33 PM
trinichiqn Nikki from Trinidad here, no blog…..yet #cathdate -8:33 PM
clsiegel Chris from Austin, Texas. #cathdate -8:33 PM
AveMariaSingles We’re talking about soul mates. The One. Your other half. Q1: Does God have one person in mind for you?#cathdate -8:37
6stonejars The concept of the “soul mate” is a very, very popular one. #cathdate -8:39
tortillatc Andrellita from New Mexico #cathdate -8:39 PM
clsiegel I feel God has a person picked out for us, but also knows who we’ll end up with. Not always the same person. #cathdate -8:39 PM
Yvadne God has one person in mind for me, Yah! #cathdate -8:40 PM
AveMariaSingles @clsiegel So God has someone in mind with us, but also knows if we won’t listen? #cathdate -8:41 PM
nomoblues @6stonejars #cathdate Not all of us are called to Holy Matrimony. God may or may not have someone, but either way we’re meant for Him. -8:42 PM
clsiegel Yeah. The bad part of free will RT @AveMariaSingles: So God has someone in mind with us, but also knows if we won’t listen? #cathdate -8:42 PM
tortillatc So if we are called don’t listen and the other person marries someon else what then? #cathdate -8:44 PM
6stonejars @nomoblues Fair point, but since we’re at this chat, we’ll presume a calling to matrimony. #cathdate -8:45 PM
6stonejars God is not that controlling when it comes to our destiny. We must do our part. #cathdate -8:46 PM
trinichiqn I believe he will guide people our way or the other way around but the choice is ours #cathdate -8:47 PM
6stonejars Too much reflection on “the one” can lead to refusing anyone. People become overly concerned with choosing wrong.#cathdate -8:48 PM
AveMariaSingles RT @trinichiqn: I believe he will guide people our way or the other way around but the choice is ours #cathdate -8:48
threelittleowls @AveMariaSingles @trinichiqn I think that as well.#cathdate -8:49 PM
tortillatc So there are several ppl God thinks we would be good with and as life goes on he brings them into our lives then we say y or n? #cathdate -8:51 PM
6stonejars We have to do our part. We can’t put all the onus on God. We need to work on ourselves, and be open to possibility.#cathdate -8:54 PM
tortillatc @6stonejars makes sense #cathdate -8:57 PM
LuciadelCarmen6 RT @6stonejars: We have to do our part. We can’t put all the onus on God. We need to work on ourselves, and be open to possibility. #cathdate -8:59 PM
6stonejars God doesn’t care who you choose, per se. He puts people into our lives for a reason. #cathdate -8:59 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars Once you’re married, then you have “the one” #cathdate -8:59 PM
redcactusflower Since God has chosen our vocations, I like to think that He can also help lead us to a spouse He has in mind.#cathdate -8:59 PM
6stonejars @redcactusflower He can help lead us. But we have to be open to listening to Him. We need the ability to see that person. #cathdate -9:00 PM
6stonejars @threelittleowls That’s exactly right. The marriage is what makes this the one. #cathdate -9:01 PM
LuciadelCarmen6 RT @6stonejars: God doesn’t care who you choose, per se. He puts people into our lives for a reason.#cathdate -9:02 PM
6stonejars When two people exchange vows sacramentally, then you are married to the one God had in mind for you. #cathdate -9:02
tortillatc I Like that! RT @threelittleowls: @6stonejars Once youre married, then you have “the one” #cathdate -9:03 PM
AveMariaSingles We spend a lot of time looking for the one. Making our list of qualities we desire. Q2: Are WE “the one”?#cathdate -9:06 PM
threelittleowls @AveMariaSingles Good point! We have to be holy men and women who attract others to us & to God. #cathdate -9:08
trinichiqn @AveMariaSingles for someone. May not be the one we want though #cathdate -9:09 PM
clsiegel For someone, provided I don’t mess up God’s pla..#cathdate -9:09 PM
threelittleowls @trinichiqn That can be really tough. I went through that process this year. Urge you to cling to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. #cathdate -9:10 PM
6stonejars We should have a list – of the qualities we want Jesus to find in us, first and foremost. That will make us very attractive.#cathdate -9:12 PM
6stonejars The next step is to be open to the people God has placed in our lives. #cathdate -9:18 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars Yes, very important! I hear so many people talk of being open to a relationship…later. Scary stuff to me! #cathdate -9:19 PM
6stonejars @threelittleowls Again, the conventional sense of “soul mate” has some people too afraid. Always searching for something better. #cathdate -9:20 PM
clsiegel It is important not to settle for just anyone. It is difficult being picky enough without being too picky. #cathdate -9:25 PM
tortillatc I once read we should have a list of like 5 things we would absolutely not want in a relationsip I.e. abuse, drugs#cathdate -9:27 PM
6stonejars @clsiegel It’s about choosing a suitable partner. Marital love is much more than “feelings” #cathdate -9:27 PM
tortillatc Then use those to at least set minimum standard…#cathdate -9:28 PM
nomoblues @6stonejars #cathdate FindingSoulmate -Yes, too often an excuse to stay on the sidelines, never risk getting hurt, and never committing. -9:29 PM
6stonejars Anyone can say the words of marriage vows. But can they fulfill them? Know the person as far as possible before you commit. #cathdate -9:29 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars @clsiegel But it’s not just reasoning, either. #cathdate -9:30 PM
clsiegel Think it starts with feeling, but it has to be a decision to commit. RT @threelittleowls: But it’s not just reasoning,#cathdate -9:32 PM
6stonejars As usual, the time flew. We’ll be back again 9/20. Lots on these subjects on my blog, 6stonejars.com. Have a good evening. #cathdate -9:34 PM
tortillatc @6stonejars gnight! #cathdate -9:35 PM
clsiegel Have a great week all! #cathdate -9:35 PM
AveMariaSingles Transcript will be available on The Help Mate as always. Topic ideas for September 20? Please let us know.#cathdate -9:35 PM
Elizabeth & Peter: success!
Peter and Elizabeth are newlyweds, and highly successful users of the Ave Maria Singles referral program. We asked them a couple questions about how they met, and why they think the referral program is such a great idea.
How did you hear about AMS?
Peter: A friend of mine persuaded me that I should join a Catholic dating site, and I had seen print advertisements for AMS in magazines like The Catholic Answer and Lay Witness for several years before joining, and I felt that AMS was the best fit for me. It was the first and only dating site I have been on.
Elizabeth: I was on another Catholic dating website for a while and, though I made a few friends via the site, I was frustrated by the dearth of practicing Catholics even there. While there, I heard of AMS and eventually decided that it would be good to join. It sounded as though the general population tended to be more religious and perhaps a bit more serious about looking for a spouse, since they did have to pay to join. That small fee, however, is pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of dating, marriage, and life… all pretty expensive propositions!
How long were you on the site before you met?
Elizabeth: Peter first wrote on November 2, 2009. I’d been on the site for 3 weeks and he had been there two and a half months.
How did your first date happen?
Peter: In January 2010 I asked Elizabeth if I could meet her in person (we had talked on the phone a few times already) and she agreed. I flew from Seattle to Erie, PA in February. By the end of that weekend we had decided that we wanted to start dating. We mostly walked around the city and talked during that weekend, to try to get to know each other. It was from our conversations that we made a connection with each other early on.
Peter, you were an early adopter of the referral program. What made you join?
I had always wanted to try making money with Internet advertising. I liked the idea of helping more people join AMS since it can work and I felt that the commission paid by AMS was very generous and worth my time. I actually purchase ads online to drive traffic to AMS and it has worked out quite well so far.
How much are you making with the program?
I’m making about $75 per month after expenses.
Did you use any of that money to offset your wedding or honeymoon costs?
It goes to help pay our bills every month, so yes, it definitely helped with the honeymoon.
When did you get married?
We were married on June 11th, 2011 at Elizabeth’s home parish in New Jersey.
Do you have any advice for singles?
God isn’t calling you to marry someone who He’s not also calling to marry you.
That sounds confusing at first, but it’s good to think about. If that great guy is called to be a (Roman rite) priest, you can be at peace knowing you’re not called to be his wife. If that lovely lady is prayerfully certain that you are not the one, then she may not be the one for you, either. (This is not to say that a little persistence is necessarily a bad idea.) But- Trust. God knows exactly what he’s doing.
What do you think of the referral program?
The referral program is great because it gives anyone the opportunity to encourage others to join AMS. You don’t even have to be a member of AMS to be in the referral program. I would encourage anyone who knows someone who might benefit from AMS to join the referral program because those who join using your referral link gets a $25 discount. It’s nice to be able to make some money at this program and help people join AMS at the same time.
God bless!
Elizabeth and Peter Oven
September 6 #cathdate: Finding “the one”
Join us Tuesday, September 6 at 8:30 p.m. Eastern for #Cathdate!
#Cathdate is hosted by Anthony Buono, founder of Ave Maria Singles, and by Ave Maria Singles.
Finding the one.
Relevant Magazine ran an article on the false expectations of finding “the one.” Very interesting reading which inspired our discussion for September 6. If you have something to add, please tweet @AveMariaSingles.
Invite your friends!
Q1: Does God have one person in mind for you?
Q2: Are WE “the one”?
August 23 #cathdate chat transcript
AveMariaSingles All you west coasters can laugh at us east coasters and our #earthquake tonight. #cathdate -8:28 PM
nomoblues @AveMariaSingles ahaha #pray :-) #cathdate -8:30 PM
AveMariaSingles Take a minute to introduce yourself! We’re blogging about dating online & off at avemariasingles.wordpress.com. #cathdate -8:31 PM
6stonejars Anthony Buono, AveMariaSingles.com and 6StoneJars.com. #cathdate -8:32 PM
EHillgrove @AveMariaSingles Hi y’all! I wanted to say hey, but I’m traveling for work and I can’t make it to #cathdate … just enough to say hi! -8:33 PM
nomoblues @AveMariaSingles I’m nomoblues, Catholic young man in Southern CA. Blog link in my profile #cathdate -8:34 PM
trinichiqn Hi Nikki from Trinidad here #cathdate -8:35 PM
AveMariaSingles Typically we start with a topic, so we have something to deviate from. Tonight we’re talking about dating non-Catholics. #cathdate -8:38 P
6stonejars Well, even the fewer of us can make great transcript, right? #cathdate -8:38 PM
6stonejars Anyone have experience dating non-Catholics?#cathdate -8:39 PM
AveMariaSingles RT @6stonejars: Anyone have experience dating non-Catholics? #cathdate -8:39 PM
nomoblues @6stonejars #cathdate Yes, it’s always fun to see where your Catholicism will shine through in relating to them. -8:41
6stonejars Or thought about it, or questioned if you should or not?#cathdate -8:41
6stonejars @nomoblues Do you think a Catholic “should” be open to dating a non-Catholic? #cathdate -8:42 PM
trinichiqn @AveMariaSingles @6stonejars Kind of. I have dated any long term but I have been on dates with a few. Not doing again.#cathdate -8:42 PM
6stonejars @trinichiqn No? Why not? #cathdate -8:43 PM Aug 23rd, 2011
clsiegel Thought about it, but the more involved in Parish Life I become, the less interested I am in someone that I can’t share that with. #cathdate -8:43 PM
nomoblues @6stonejars #cathdate It’s a challenge to find a practicing Catholic or at least someone open to the Faith -8:43 PM
6stonejars @nomoblues Yes. I believe that is why I come across so many who do date non-Catholics. #cathdate -8:44 PM
trinichiqn @6stonejars One always made a point of asking if I was a Christian then trying to see what he could get me to do. trouble#cathdate -8:45 PM
6stonejars @clsiegel Sharing the Catholic faith is a big help in a marriage. Especially in raising children that come along. #cathdate-8:45 PM
nomoblues @gedert014 #cathdate It’s true that converts to Catholicism can be a great inspiration -8:46 PM
trinichiqn on a cath forum I see to many wives lamenting their noncath husbands, not open to life no Mass I want to share my Faith #cathdate -8:47 PM
6stonejars @trinichiqn I’m sure they never considered these kind of problems before marriage. Or if they did, they ignored it.#cathdate -8:49 PM
6stonejars How about a very devout Protestant? Would that be an okay non-Catholic to consider, since they love Jesus so much?#cathdate -8:50 PM
nomoblues @gedert014 #cathdate at the same time the boyfriend/girlfriend of the convert wouldn’t be their RCIA sponsor Freely choosing Christ -8:51 PM
trinichiqn @6stonejars I never considered it either but their experiences have made me think about it #cathdate -8:51 PM
nomoblues @trinichiqn #cathdate Yes, it’s odd to see all the women at Mass/prayer and not many men -8:52 PM
6stonejars But in truth, a Catholic in name only can be just as dangerous for a marriage as a non-Catholic. Don’t you agree?#cathdate -8:52 PM
trinichiqn @6stonejars definitely. The same problems probably even worse. #cathdate -8:54 PM
6stonejars @trinichiqn I agree. So it is about finding someone who shares your Catholic beliefs and desires to live them. #cathdate -8:55 PM
marleyblakedog @6stonejars Absolutely. It means you have to be really firm in your faith bc your partner isn’t a reliable source.#cathdate -8:55 PM
marleyblakedog I’m Chase, btw. Late arriver to the chat.#cathdate -8:55 PM
6stonejars @marleyblakedog Hi Chase. Yes, the believer has to carry the load often. And that is not easy to do, or sustain#cathdate -8:57 PM
AveMariaSingles Is Catholicism something you bring up right away? What if you are interested in someone and don’t realize they’re not Catholic? #cathdate -8:57 PM
nomoblues @6stonejars #cathdate Scary to call it dangerous since I see Catholic women marry non-Catholics in the Church. All you can do is pray -8:57 PM
Yvadne Dated nonCatholics when I was a “Cafeteria Catholic” now that I’m Roman Catholic it’s not an option. #cathdate -8:58 PM
marleyblakedog @6stonejars I think the same goes for the Protestant ? you posed earlier. Invariably, something comes up that you differ on. #cathdate -8:58 P
6stonejars Differences are okay, but having a mutually agreed on authority (the Catholic Church) helps a great deal. #cathdate -8:59
nomoblues @AveMariaSingles #cathdate Maybe not right away but the Catholic humor will fall flat :\ and the evangelization has to begin -9:00 PM
6stonejars So would you consider a non-Catholic in the hope that they will convert later after you get married? #cathdate -9:01 PM
marleyblakedog @AveMariaSingles Usually I don’t flat out say I’m Catholic, but by talking about the Mass, penance, etc it bcomes evident quickly. #cathdate -9:01 PM
trinichiqn @6stonejars We need to agree on the basics for ourselves and our family #cathdate -9:01 PM
MbernadetteE @6stonejars ah, don’t think I could do that. The Catholic view of marriage itself is a very big deal. #cathdate -9:02 PM
marleyblakedog RT @6stonejars: Differences are okay, but having a mutually agreed on authority (the Catholic Church) helps a great deal. #cathdate -9:02 PM
trinichiqn @6stonejars You can’t start a relationship hoping to fix the person so no. accept as is or move on #cathdate -9:02 PM
nomoblues @6stonejars #cathdate I would hope they would convert before with no rush or pressure please -9:03 PM
clsiegel Definitely would not bank on them converting post marriage. If you love them, you love them. It’s a matter if you can love them. #cathdate -9:04 PM
marleyblakedog @6stonejars Conversion b4 marriage. The Catholic understanding of marriage is such that i thnk you need to be it to appreciate it. #cathdate -9:04 PM
6stonejars @trinichiqn I agree completely. Because what if the person does NOT convert as you hoped? #cathdate -9:04 PM
trinichiqn @AveMariaSingles I wear a crucifix so kind of obvious but I don’t generally bring it up. #cathdate -9:04 PM
6stonejars @clsiegel Agreed. Love demands respect for who the person is, never demanding a change. #cathdate -9:05 PM
trinichiqn @6stonejars you may end up bitter and resentful#cathdate -9:06 PM
nomoblues @6stonejars #cathdate *no rush or pressure from me via the relationship, just the call of the Lord (salvation, last things, etc) -9:06 PM
AveMariaSingles RT @nomoblues: @6stonejars #cathdate *no rush or pressure from me via the relationship, just the call of the Lord #cathdate -9:06 PM
6stonejars So how about marrying a non-Catholic whom you love so much and who loves you, and has great character and personality traits? #cathdate -9:08 PM
JesusFreak84 @6stonejars Dated a Protestant once. Never again. Ever. #cathdate -9:09 PM
MbernadetteE @6stonejars dependent upon whether they will respect&accept Cath teaching on marriage/raising children/etc.#cathdate -9:10 PM
lynnetteann3 @6stonejars absolutely! #cathdate -9:10 PM
JesusFreak84 RT @marleyblakedog: @6stonejars Conversion b4 marriage. The Catholic understanding of marriage is such that i thnk you need to be it to appreciate it. #cathdate -9:10 PM
6stonejars @MbernadetteE So that means you would consider a non-Catholic under the right circumstances? #cathdate -9:10 PM
nomoblues @6stonejars #cathdate if the goal is to help get each other to heaven, then becoming Catholic is important to the relationship -9:11 PM
lynnetteann3 Amen! RT @Yvadne Dated nonCatholics when I was a “Cafeteria Catholic” now that I’m Roman Catholic it’s not an option. #cathdate -9:11 PM
clsiegel If there is agape, I think things need to progress to marriage with understanding that there will need to be understanding. #cathdate -9:11 PM
MbernadetteE @6stonejars I would consider it, but it seems rather far-fetched. Can’t see it happening for myself personally #cathdate -9:11 PM
trinichiqn @6stonejars if you can come to agreement of the basics yes. kids raised Catholic, family prayer, open to life, etc #cathdate-9:11 PM
JesusFreak84 RT @lynnetteann3: Amen! RT @Yvadne Dated nonCatholics when I was a “Cafeteria Catholic” now that I’m Roman Catholic it’s not an option. #cathdate -
6stonejars I would agree that marrying a non-Catholic is possible if they agree to respect your faith and raising the kids Catholic.#cathdate -9:13 PM
JesusFreak84 Seeing more males on this hashtag compared to last chat I was in… #cathdate -9:13 PM
marleyblakedog @6stonejars Hopefully, if they love each other fully, they are praying for grace to smooth out differences. Certainly not easy. #cathdate -9:13 PM
6stonejars …however, it’s still a risk. There’s no guarantee they will not change their mind. Best to consider a non-religious GOOD person. #cathdate -9:14 PM
lynnetteann3 @6stonejars in the hope? no, i would not. #cathdate-9:14 P
6stonejars @marleyblakedog Absolutely. Without grace, it will be impossible anyway. Two people who rely on God’s grace is essential. #cathdate -9:15 PM
JesusFreak84 @6stonejars #cathdate Couldn’t do it myself; Catholic is too much of who I am and how I live. Can’t be known apart from it. -9:15 PM
MbernadetteE @6stonejars if God’s grace is essential (and I agree is certainly is), why do you recommend a non-religious good person? #curious #cathdate -9:16 PM
trinichiqn @6stonejars non-religious might be harder since prayer life of both parents are important to me in raising kids #cathdate -9:17 PM
6stonejars @MbernadetteE Fair question. Because a good non-religious person cooperates with God’s grace of sorts, by not be an obstacle. #cathdate -9:18 PM Aug 23rd, 2011
JesusFreak84 @6stonejars #cathdate But what’s to stop the children from following the non-Catholic spouse, especially as teenagers? =-\ -9:18 PM Aug 23rd, 2011
MbernadetteE @6stonejars hmm, I can see that. An angle I hadn’t previously considered. #cathdate -9:19 PM
marleyblakedog @6stonejars Sure, your differences won’t be doctrinal then, but avoiding hard problems won’t necessarily make the marriage better. #cathdate -9:20 PM Aug 23rd, 2011
trinichiqn @6stonejars @MbernadetteE They may not be an obstacle but they aren’t a help either. #cathdate -9:20 PM
6stonejars I do think someone who shares the faith is best. But I do believe marriage can work with a certain kind of quality non-Catholic. #cathdate -9:21 PM
JesusFreak84 @trinichiqn #cathdate Exactly. -9:21 PM
marleyblakedog @JesusFreak84 @6stonejars That’s a risk even in a dual-Catholic family. We’re all called to be beacons of faith to our children. #cathdate -9:22 PM
6stonejars @trinichiqn Hahaha! Well, not being an obstacle is a BIG help, actually. How many bad Catholics are killing their marriage? #cathdate -9:23 PM
JesusFreak84 @6stonejars #cathdate My parents seem to be doing a pretty equal job of it. (Dad = convert from Methodist, Mom = cradle agnostic-Catholic) -9:24 PM
lynnetteann3 @6stonejars need we go there? many of us are still trying to GET there! (good Catholic marriage) ha! #cathdate -9:24 PM
6stonejars @JesusFreak84 And I’m sure their love and mutual respect for each other is what makes their marriage work above all. #cathdate -9:26 PM
JesusFreak84 @6stonejars 140 chars isn’t enough to get into that =-p #cathdate -9:27 PM
6stonejars @lynnetteann3 Hopefully, this kind of talk helps you get there. The desire to be married makes many consider dating non-Catholics #cathdate -9:27 PM
LuciadelCarmen6 RT @6stonejars: I would agree that marrying a non-Catholic is possible if they agree to respect your faith and raising the kids Catholic. #cathdate -9:29 P
6stonejars Thank you for joining us. Our next chat is the day after Labor Day, September 6 at 8:30pm EST. See you then. #cathdate -9:30 PM
lynnetteann3 @6stonejars thank you Anthony for driving this talk/chat and thank the rest of you for joining in #cathdate talk. -9:32 PM
August 23 #Cathdate chat: dating a non-Catholic
#Cathdate is a gathering on Twitter for single Catholics. Participants and guests type answers to questions from the host, using the social media site Twitter.
#Cathdate is a forum for single Catholics to discuss the fun and frustrations of dating.
#Cathdate is hosted by Anthony Buono, founder of Ave Maria Singles, who has been working with single Catholics since 1998, and by Ave Maria Singles.
Playing hard to get.
This week’s topics are based on our last #cathdate chat. If you have something to add, please tweet @AveMariaSingles.
Invite your friends!
Q1: How do you approach dating a non-Catholic?
Q2: Should you expect someone to convert?
Confused about what a Twitter chat is?
A Twitter chat is a fun, fast-moving, informal discussion on Twitter.
Our chat’s hashtag is #cathdate. Include that in your tweets so they’ll show up in the chat.
If you use Tweetdeck, you can create a column that follows the #cathdate hashtag. Or, use a tool like TweetChat or TweetGrid, which will automatically filter the chat and add the hashtag to your own tweets.
August 9 #cathdate transcript
Here is the transcript from our August 9 #cathdate chat. If you have topics you’d like to discuss during our next chat, please let us know!
AveMariaSingles Welcome everyone! Don’t forget to intro yourself. First date ideas and more at our blog: http://bit.ly/fbl3f6 #cathdate -8:28 PM
EHillgrove RT @AveMariaSingles: Welcome everyone! Don’t forget to intro yourself. First date ideas and more at our blog: http://bit.ly/fbl3f6 #cathdate -8:29 PM
6stonejars Hi Everyone. Anthony Buono. AMS and 6 Stone Jars. It’s been a while. #cathdate -8:30 PM
trinichiqn I’m here. Nikki from Trinidad. #cathdate -8:30 PM
EHillgrove I’m Elizabeth, a twenty-something #Catholic woman who blogs (whoa, shameless plug) and has a wonderful boyfriend! #cathdate -8:31 PM
AveMariaSingles Shameless plugs for Catholic blogs welcome. #cathdate -8:33 PM
nomoblues @AveMariaSingles Hello all. I’m @nomoblues Catholic young man from southern CA #cathdate -8:33 PM
2myhomewardDove Hey everyone. I’m Alicia, a twentysomething #Catholic who also blogs, from Massachusetts. #cathdate -8:34 PM
AveMariaSingles Tonight’s first “question” is really a topic & we’ll be following a slightly different format for fun. #cathdate -8:35 PM
EHillgrove @AveMariaSingles Woot! You don’t have to tell me twice http://bit.ly/fFw8Qp #cathdate -8:35 PM Aug 9th, 2011
EHillgrove @trinichiqn Trinidad!! Cool! #cathdate -8:36 PM
threelittleowls Woot! Big “S” & Little “s” singles united once again I’m Trista & I blog at notaminx.blogspot.com & @BrightMaidens! #cathdate
AveMariaSingles Q1: Playing hard to get vs. preserving your mystery. What does it mean? #cathdate -8:37 PM
AveMariaSingles Q1: Boy & Girl go for date.Boy never calls.Girl doesn’t call him, either. Hard to get, or preserving mystery? #cathdate
EHillgrove @AveMariaSingles Interesting distinction! I want to see @threelittleowls answer this #cathdate -8:38 PM
threelittleowls @AveMariaSingles Not enough to know. Did she thank him & give hints she’d want to see him again? If y, then preserving mystery. #cathdate -8:39 PM
EHillgrove @AveMariaSingles Preserving mystery. #cathdate -8:39 PM
EHillgrove @threelittleowls Good point…. #cathdate -8:39 PM
EHillgrove @CallAllWitness @palaminko #cathdudes #cathsorority where are you?! #Cathdate happening here -8:40 PM
threelittleowls @EHillgrove @AveMariaSingles Don’t tease me, E! You know I get all muddled when it comes to mystery. #cathdate -8:40 PM
EHillgrove @threelittleowls sorry, that was uncharitable. But I really think you know! #cathdate -8:40 PM
threelittleowls RT @EHillgrove: @CallAllWitness @palaminko #cathdudes #cathsorority where are you?! #Cathdate happening here -8:40 PM
6stonejars Boy will call if he is interested. That much we know. She should not call. #cathdate -8:40 PM
threelittleowls @EHillgrove Haha, that was not uncharitable! #cathdate -8:41 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars What about a text hello or thank you? Should she just not contact him…at all? #cathdate -8:41 PM
2myhomewardDove @AveMariaSingles i guess, is it wrong to play games? or to just be honest & straightforward? #cathdate -8:42 PM
nomoblues @AveMariaSingles boy may not know better. It’s the boy’s call in life to continually propose/pursue and accept rejection #cathdate #theCross -8:42 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars We often don’t speak of texting when we have the #cathdate. I’m curious. -8:42 PM
EHillgrove @threelittleowls @6stonejars I say no contact from her. I used to think she should, but he needs to step up #cathdate -8:43 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars @AveMariaSingles Can men “play hard to get”? Or is that just “not interested”? #cathdate -8:44 PM
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove I’m wondering when it’s okay for her take initiative. after the beginning? @threelittleowls @6stonejars #cathdate -8:44 PM
6stonejars Texting might seem okay, but it’s still a “move”. A date should end with the man having the next move. #cathdate -8:44 PM
EHillgrove Men CAN play hard to get…. but that’s like shooting yourself in the foot. #cathdate -8:44 PM
threelittleowls @EHillgrove And yet…I think they do sometimes!! #cathdate -8:45 PM
6stonejars A man playing hard to get? That implies he is to be “gotten” by her. Not good. #cathdate -8:45 PM
palaminko @threelittleowls @6stonejars @AveMariaSingles Please excuse my disheveled appearance & tardiness…just finished workout #cathdate -8:45 PM
EHillgrove @2myhomewardDove Yeah, once there is an established relationship, the two can talk about it. But keep in mind “the mystery” #cathdate
threelittleowls @2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove I think I usually text “thank you” on the same night if I’m interested…breaking #cathdate rules! Whoops! -8:46 PM
EHillgrove @threelittleowls They sure do sometimes. And those who do… don’t get the girl. #notwinning #cathdate -8:47 PM
palaminko @threelittleowls @EHillgrove if man is playing hard to get, bad dynamic: means *you* are now pursuing *him* #cathdate -8:47
6stonejars @threelittleowls @2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove No worries. That seems harmless. Hopefully he knows that means you are interested. #cathdate -8:47 PM
EHillgrove RT @palaminko: @threelittleowls @EHillgrove if man is playing hard to get, bad dynamic: means *you* are now pursuing *him* #cathdate -8:48 PM
ldelc RT @6stonejars: Boy will call if he is interested. That much we know. She should not call. #cathdate -8:48 PM
AveMariaSingles Q1: Girl is friendly at a party & drops hint to mutual friend that she’s interested in Boy. Smart? Or too forward? #cathdate -8:48 PM
2myhomewardDove @threelittleowls yeah I can see something like that being okay. #cathdate -8:48
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove @palaminko @threelittleowls agreed! I feel like it never really ends well… #cathdate -8:49 PM
trinichiqn @palaminko @threelittleowls @EHillgrove I prefer to be pursued. If a guy wants to be pursued is he really interested? #cathdate -8:49 PM
EHillgrove @AveMariaSingles That’s a toughie. Did she just SEE him at this party? Or do they already know each other. Reading into this… #cathdate -8:49 PM
EHillgrove MT @trinichiqn: @palaminko @threelittleowls I prefer to be pursued. If a guy wants to be pursued is he really interested? #cathdate -8:49 PM
EHillgrove I think a text “thank you” that night is alright, too. But I definitely tried to show them I was interested before the end of date #cathdate -8:50 PM
trinichiqn @AveMariaSingles Is she close to the friend or just one of the group. Close smart. #cathdate -8:51 PM
threelittleowls @palaminko @6stonejars @2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove I agree! Not a “move” but a hint! #cathdate -8:51 PM
6stonejars Dropping the hint to the mutual friend is strategy. Therefore, smart. Forward would be telling him directly. #cathdate -8:51 PM
EHillgrove On this new question: if she’s just seeing him at the party…I don’t think she should make a move like tht unless they’re friends #cathdate -8:52 PM
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove yeah, I think the trouble too is how you’re showing him you’re interested, you know? fine line… #cathdate -8:52 PM
EHillgrove and even then, I don’t know about trying to do it through a grapevine #cathdate -8:52 PM
they’ve met before but are not close. #cathdate -8:52 PM Aug 9th, 2011
2myhomewardDove RT @threelittleowls: @palaminko @6stonejars @2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove I agree! Not a “move” but a hint! #cathdate -8:52 PM
AveMariaSingles @EHillgrove For the sake of argument we’ll say they’ve met before but are not close. #cathdate -8:52 PM Aug 9th, 201
6stonejars @EHillgrove Say thank you in person. Leave him with your eyes and smile and last words, not your text. #cathdate -8:53
EHillgrove @AveMariaSingles Okay, sorry I’m very analytical. I love details… #cathdate -8:53 PM
EHillgrove RT @6stonejars: @EHillgrove Say thank you in person. Leave him with your eyes and smile and last words, not your text. #cathdate -8:53 PM
CallAllWitness @6stonejars Sorry, I’m late!! Agreed! Sometimes we men need that little encouragement, & maybe we didn’t notice there was an opp? #cathdate -8:53 PM
palaminko @EHillgrove yeah, not sure what to think about this one…maybe just attempt to get an introduction out of talking to friend? #cathdate -8:53 PM
threelittleowls @EHillgrove Well, we’re women, of course we do! Hehe. #cathdate @AveMariaSingles -8:53 PM
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove haha lol same way…part of my problem sometimes in this area #cathdate -8:54 PM
EHillgrove I think the biggest takeaway is that both man and woman should be PRESENT during the date, so they can listen to the hints #cathdate -8:54 PM
nomoblues RT @6stonejars: @EHillgrove Say thank you in person. Leave him with your eyes and smile and last words, not your text. #cathdate -8:55 PM
6stonejars @CallAllWitness So true. Men need some indication that it is okay to pursue, then let him take it from there. #cathdate -8:56 PM
threelittleowls @EHillgrove Agreed! Men, pull out your best manners. Ladies, let him treat you well. Couple, cellphones away & listen up. #cathdate -8:56 PM
palaminko @EHillgrove haha, yes…mentally, not just physically #cathdate -8:56 PM
EHillgrove @2myhomewardDove Someone very wise told me today (@CallAllWitness ) that men are pretty darn clear. Our detailed selves can relax #cathdate -8:56 PM
AveMariaSingles Hard to get on the date if you didn’t find a way to invite one when you had your chance. #cathdate -8:57 PM
EHillgrove RT @threelittleowls: @EHillgrove Agreed! Men, pull out your best manners. Ladies, let him treat you well. Couple, cellphones away & listen up. #cathdate -8:57 PM
EHillgrove @threelittleowls **Let him treat you well** Good point! #cathdate -8:57 PM
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove lol thank goodness that’s been cleared up. sometimes he’s just not that into you i guess @CallAllWitness #cathdate -8:58 PM
EHillgrove @palaminko Yes, if you’re not there physically, you’re in more trouble than anyone… #cathdate -8:58 PM
CallAllWitness @threelittleowls @EHillgrove What if you’re talking to each other on your cell phones?? #cathdate -8:58 PM
palaminko @AveMariaSingles we (guys) are responsible for taking the opportunities we’re given. no need to fret the ones we don’t get. #cathdate -8:59 PM
threelittleowls @EHillgrove We’re so nice we often fret about money, inconvenience, etc. Still be kind, but resist letting those thoughts lead. #cathdate -8:59 PM
EHillgrove @2myhomewardDove If he’s not into you, it’s not right, so there’s nothing to be upset about! (harder to do than say) #cathdate -9:00 PM
palaminko @threelittleowls @EHillgrove as cliche as it may sound, (ladies) don’t kill yourselves (or us!) with misplaced kindness! #cathdate -9:00 PM
AveMariaSingles Now for our more difficult topic: Q2: How can I recover from being hurt in a relationship? #cathdate -9:00 PM
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove agreed. it’s always better in the long run. #cathdate -9:00 PM
EHillgrove @CallAllWitness Okay, okay, good point. But there should be a date in person at some point along the way @threelittleowls #cathdate -9:01 PM
EHillgrove hahaha RT @threelittleowls: @CallAllWitness @EHillgrove ON the date?! That would be silly. #cathdate -9:01 PM
6stonejars RT @AveMariaSingles: Now for our more difficult topic: Q2: How can I recover from being hurt in a relationship? #cathdate -9:01 PM
2myhomewardDove @threelittleowls ooh that’s definitely a good point. It’s so easy to lose hope sometimes. @EHillgrove #cathdate -9:02 PM
palaminko @AveMariaSingles Q2: first bring it to God and renew that relationship–absolutely before doing anything else #cathdate -9:02 PM
threelittleowls @AveMariaSingles I have a blog post on that! #breakups http://t.co/rbyDiKo #cathdate -9:03 P
EHillgrove @threelittleowls has a whole series on the “how to” of healing http://bit.ly/nouG1d #cathdate -9:03 PM
EHillgrove @threelittleowls Aw you beat me to it! #cathdate -9:03 PM
EHillgrove RT @palaminko: @AveMariaSingles Q2: first bring it to God and renew that relationship–absolutely before doing anything else #cathdate -9:03 PM
CallAllWitness RT @threelittleowls: @AveMariaSingles I have a blog post on that! #breakups http://t.co/rbyDiKo #cathdate -9:04 PM
2myhomewardDove @palaminko definitely. dealing w/ the hurt soon after is really key. @AveMariaSingles #cathdate -9:04 PM
EHillgrove Q2: Back to basics. Go to the Sacraments, back to a full prayer life, baby steps. Be a *friend* to everyone #cathdate -9:04 P
palaminko @2myhomewardDove @AveMariaSingles next, was believing that the relationship still had a good purpose–even if that came later #cathdate -9:05 PM
6stonejars Getting hurt is part of any relationship, even in marriage. You can’t allow it to go too deep and settle. #cathdate -9:06 PM
EHillgrove @palaminko superb and VERY important point, sir #cathdate -9:06 PM
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove I think esp. in rel. where u haven’t been treated well. Staying close to the Sacr. heals u from inside out. #cathdate -9:06 PM
palaminko @EHillgrove Thank you! I think that was my biggest stumbling block after my most recent breakup #cathdate -9:08 PM
EHillgrove Can I say crying is a part of the healing? I agree with @6stonejars, you shouldn’t let it go to deep, but let off the top layer #cathdate -9:08 PM
2myhomewardDove @palaminko good point. everyone has something to teach us, even if it doesn’t seem so at 1st or even after. @AveMariaSingles #cathdate -9:08 PM
palaminko @6stonejars Q2: I’d also like to make a plug for praying to St. Raphael for his help in healing and finding a better match #cathdate -9:08 PM
EHillgrove @palaminko Mine too, definitely. I kept wanting to just beat myself up for the bad parts. #cathdate -9:08 PM
6stonejars Allow yourself to feel hurt. It’s normal. But don’t take it so personally. Time does heal. #cathdate -9:08 PM
6stonejars @EHillgrove Yes, crying is definitely part of healing. #cathdate -9:09 PM
trinichiqn @EHillgrove @6stonejars I think crying is good. No matter how bad we need to mourn. #cathdate -9:10 PM
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove When the self-doubt & self-judgment sets in you know you’re in trouble. That is harder to get rid of. @palaminko #cathdate -9:10 PM
EHillgrove @trinichiqn Sometimes you just have to cry. I broke down at Mass one day and it was amazing. @6stonejars #cathdate -9:10 PM
EHillgrove @2myhomewardDove True! Yes, it takes over like black smoke. You need God’s help to escape that kind of doubt, judgment and guilt #cathdate -9:11 PM
palaminko @EHillgrove @trinichiqn @6stonejars “And Jesus wept.” See, it’s even biblical! #cathdate -9:12 PM
EHillgrove @palaminko Hey look at that! #cathdate -9:12 PM
6stonejars Too many retreat from risk after being hurt. But you have to risk being hurt again. Love demands that risk taking. #cathdate -9:12 PM
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove Definitely. There’s no way I could do it on my own. #cathdate -9:12 P
EHillgrove RT @6stonejars: Too many retreat from risk after being hurt. But you have to risk being hurt again. Love demands that risk taking. #cathdate -9:13 PM
2myhomewardDove RT @6stonejars: Too many retreat from risk after being hurt. But you have to risk being hurt again.Love demands that risk taking. #cathdate -9:13 PM
nomoblues @palaminko Dominus Flevit Luke 19 #cathdate -9:13 P
palaminko @EHillgrove forgot the citation…I think it’s Jn 11:35…shortest verse in the Bible #cathdate -9:13 PM
EHillgrove “Love demands that risk taking.” via @6stonejars #cathdate -9:13 PM
2myhomewardDove @6stonejars Not becoming jaded is also something to look out for. Ugh…worst feeling. #cathdate -9:14 PM
EHillgrove @palaminko yeah, “He wept.” I don’t know the verses… I need to work on that, but hey, we know the stories and teachings! #cathdate -9:14 PM
palaminko @nomoblues great catch, bud! #cathdate -9:14 PM
Monikarw RT @6stonejars: Boy will call if he is interested. That much we know. She should not call. #cathdate -9:15 PM
EHillgrove @nomoblues Nice! #cathdate -9:15 PM
6stonejars @2myhomewardDove Yes, no jaded please. Everyone is seeking their happiness in love. Keep seeking yours. #cathdate -9:15 PM
EHillgrove The phrase “hurts so good” comes to mind with regard to this risk taking after being hurt #cathdate -9:15 PM
palaminko @2myhomewardDove @6stonejars Yup! Gotta be in a good place personally because you never know when someone special will show up #cathdate -9:15 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars Can we talk about how men should appropriately pursue? I’ve had men stalk, manipulate, etc. to get a date. #cathdate -9:16 PM
2myhomewardDove @palaminko @nomoblues @EHillgrove such a beautifully profound verse. Sometimes I just meditate in prayer on that… #cathdate -9:16 PM
EHillgrove @threelittleowls Wow, that’s scary. Yeah, you have some stories. #cathdate -9:16 PM
AveMariaSingles RT @threelittleowls: Can we talk about how men should appropriately pursue? I’ve had men stalk,manipulate,etc. to get a date. #cathdate -9:16 PM
EHillgrove I would love to talk about how attraction plays into dating, of course, with TOB in mind #cathdate -9:17 PM
2myhomewardDove @palaminko That’s true. No one wants to date a wallower! (Don’t know if that’s a word…) @6stonejars #cathdate -9:17 PM
palaminko @AveMariaSingles @threelittleowls Q3(?): First, love ain’t love if it ain’t free. No holding hostage, emotionally or otherwise #cathdate -9:18 PM
2myhomewardDove RT @6stonejars: @2myhomewardDove Yes, no jaded please. Everyone is seeking their happiness in love. Keep seeking yours. #cathdate -9:18 PM
nomoblues @palaminko Wept over Lazarus: Jn 11:35 — Wept over Jerusalem: Lk 19:41 #cathdate -9:19 PM
EHillgrove And in answer to @threelittleowls … they should take “no” and hang onto it as they walk away. If she’s nice to you, be gracious #cathdate -9:19 PM
2myhomewardDove @palaminko Soo agree. Emotional manipulation & stringing people along is not love. @AveMariaSingles @threelittleowls #cathdate -9:20 PM
6stonejars @threelittleowls Men who stalk don’t think they are. It’s sad, but some men don’t know how to read a woman properly. #cathdate -9:21 PM
palaminko @EHillgrove @threelittleowls Girls, protect your space at all costs when being pursued. And be clear when that space is violated. #cathdate -9:21 PM
threelittleowls RT @palaminko: @AveMariaSingles @threelittleowls Q3(?): First, love ain’t love if it ain’t free. No holding hostage, emotionally or otherwise #cathdate -9:22 PM
palaminko @6stonejars @threelittleowls Most reasonable guys will realize their error when you point it out… #cathdate -9:22 PM
palaminko @6stonejars @threelittleowls …for the unreasonable guys, talk to your brothers, fathers, or uncles for assistance #cathdate -9:23 PM
threelittleowls @palaminko @6stonejars If I’m scared/nervous, I’m not sticking around to chat with them…#cathdate -9:23 PM
6stonejars @palaminko True. If he is classy. And if she is classy, she will allow him to recover and give him another shot. #cathdate -9:23 PM
palaminko @threelittleowls @6stonejars I’m not talking about chatting… “Back off!” and then get the hell outta dodge! #cathdate -9:24 PM
6stonejars @threelittleowls That’s part of preserving your mystery. Men must learn to make a girl feel safe and at ease. #cathdate -9:25 PM
EHillgrove My sister had an issue with a pretty scary “pursuer.” If your instincts are going off… you need to tell someone. #cathdate -9:25 PM
2myhomewardDove @palaminko hahaahaa! good idea. @6stonejars @threelittleowls #cathdate -9:26 PM
CatholicNotions RT @EHillgrove: My sister had an issue with a pretty scary “pursuer.” If your instincts are going off… you need to tell someone. #cathdate -9:26 PM
palaminko @6stonejars @threelittleowls True. We’re also responsible for safeguarding the women in our lives who we aren’t dating #cathdate -9:27 PM
EHillgrove My dad used to joke that he was going to send a friend of his to the restaurant during my date. I don’t know if he ever did… #cathdate -9:27 PM
EHillgrove That last tweet was about mystery preservation #cathdate -9:28 PM
threelittleowls RT @palaminko: @6stonejars @threelittleowls True. We’re also responsible for safeguarding the women in our lives who we aren’t dating #cathdate -9:28 PM
CatholicNotions RT @6stonejars: Too many retreat from risk after being hurt. But you have to risk being hurt again. Love demands that risk taking. #cathdate -9:28 PM
CatholicNotions RT @EHillgrove: @trinichiqn Sometimes you just have to cry. I broke down at Mass one day and it was amazing. @6stonejars #cathdate -9:29 PM
6stonejars @palaminko You’re a very nice guy. Some woman is going to be lucky to have you #cathdate -9:30 P
2myhomewardDove @threelittleowls @palaminko Good point. What are the responsibilities 4 women toward men in this respect? @6stonejars #cathdate -9:30 PM
EHillgrove I agree with @6stonejars about @palaminko … Hey, I have a sister (kidding, kidding) #cathdate -9:31 PM
6stonejars As always, the time flew. We are back on the 23rd at 8:30. Sorry for such a long time in between the last one. #cathdate -9:31 PM
palaminko @6stonejars Thanks–I appreciate it! All in good time #cathdate -9:31 PM
16bitcatholic 1st thing I said 2 my wife @alliwait when we first met was “wow your cute, give me a hug!” 9 times out of 10 u get slapped 4 that. #cathdate -9:31 PM
2myhomewardDove @6stonejars Great chat! Thanks! #cathdate -9:31 PM
palaminko @2myhomewardDove @threelittleowls @6stonejars ooo, we should go over that during the next chat #cathdate -9:32 PM
EHillgrove @16bitcatholic Hahaha yes, I’m not sure how I would have reacted to that #cathdate -9:32 P
2myhomewardDove @palaminko Definitely. Idk, sometimes it seems a little less clear. @threelittleowls @6stonejars #cathdate -9:33 PM
AveMariaSingles Tweet any requested topics for next time to us! Or DM if you prefer. See you all 8/23 at 8:30 p.m. EST. #cathdate -9:34 PM
palaminko @6stonejars TTFN, folks…I have a long overdue date with dinner #cathdate -9:34 PM
6stonejars Yes, great chat. See you in two weeks. Follow these kinds of topics at 6stonejars.com. Good night to you all. #cathdate -9:35 PM
