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How to have a long distance relationship, part II.

June 9, 2011

We are continuing our guide on how to have a long distance relationship.

Making plans to meet:
The man should show enthusiasm to meet and foster the planning. If he is interested in you, even if there are legitimate reasons he can’t meet you sooner rather than later, he will be talking about it. It’s okay, girls, to bring up the idea of meeting in person after a month of great exchanges by phone and email. But let him take it from there.

  1. Ideally, you should meet as soon as you can, and then as often as you can. And ideally, the man should do the traveling. The guy should pay for all expenses for the first meeting. This is his pursuit of her; not her of him, nor some mutual, platonic, casual happening. You want a great girl? Then take the risk. It’s never a waste of time or money to take a risk on love. Depending on the circumstances, subsequential meeting travel expenses can be shared.
  2. If you’re hosting, make sure your guest has a hotel or friend’s house to stay at. Don’t be tempted to let them stay with you. Guys, if she is the one visiting you, pay all expenses and make her feel safe!
  3. Make enough plans, but don’t overschedule. Find time to walk and talk, and time to pray together.
  4. Meet in a public place initially for maximum comfort level. And don’t make yourself too dependent on the other.
  5. Don’t interview!!! This is a horrible mistake. This is a friendship you are establishing. We don’t interrogate our dates to cover a check list of expectations.
  6. The first meeting is the time to share anything that is pertinent that wasn’t practical to post on a profile or share in writing or by phone. This does not mean disclosing all your gravest sins or past sexual encounters. Your past can wait to come up once mutual trust in each other is established and sharing feels safe.
  7. Try to make the first meeting just one over night situation, maybe Saturday/Sunday. That way, if your first day leaves one or both of you feeling like you enough that it won’t work out, you are not stuck for days. You can simply sleep it off and leave the next day, no big deal. If it does work out, then you will be excited about making plans right away for a next visit. Saturday/Sunday is great because no matter what, you get to worship God together at Mass as fellow Christians, which is always a great thing.
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