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June 14 #cathdate transcript

June 16, 2011
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Transcript from our June 14th #Cathdate chat.

AveMariaSingles Welcome everyone! Go ahead and introduce yourself if you’d like. Tips & “agenda” here: http://bit.ly/jSVUdh #cathdate -8:29 PM Jun 14th, 2011

6stonejars Good evening! Anthony Buono here, looking forward to tonight’s chat with you all. #cathdate -8:31 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CallAllWitness Hello all!! I’m Bryan from http://www.callingallwitnesses.com. Glad to be here! #cathdate -8:31 PM Jun 14th, 2011

AveMariaSingles AMS: Catholic dating for marriage-minded singles. Blogging at The Help Mate: http://bit.ly/fbl3f6 #cathdate -8:32 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CI_Girl_1974 hi! #cathdate @AveMariaSingles -8:32 PM Jun 14th, 2011
nomoblues @AveMariaSingles I’m @nomoblues Hello. #cathdate #cathdudes -8:32 PM Jun 14th, 2011
rebeccamodestia Hi Everyone! This is Rebecca from http://t.co/8YjUJbO #cathdate -8:33 PM Jun 14th, 2011

threelittleowls @AveMariaSingles *waves* Hi, I’m Trista from notaminx.blogspot.com. I also write with the lovely #brightmaidens. #cathdate -8:33 PM Jun 14th, 2011

TXKristan Hey from Texas! Kristan from blog.chron.com/theemmausroad #cathdate -8:35 PM Jun 14th, 2011

SaraJDizzle RT @TXKristan2011Hey from Texas! Kristan from blog.chron.com/theemmausroad #cathdate -8:36 PM Jun 14th, 2011

AveMariaSingles Q1: Why DO we settle for less than real love? #cathdate -8:36 PM Jun 14th, 2011

6stonejars RT @AveMariaSingles: Q1: Why DO we settle for less than real love? #cathdate -8:38 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CallAllWitness @AveMariaSingles Short answer… 2 reasons: Sin, and belief in the portrayal of what love is by the culture at large… #cathdate -8:39 PM Jun 14th, 2011

nomoblues: @AveMariaSingles Ex. of real love are hard to see/notice. People don’t believe or can’t fathom that real love is found in Christ #cathdate

CallAllWitness: @AveMariaSingles Long answer… “It’s complicated” #cathdate

rebeccamodestia: IMHO: 1. A misunderstanding of true love (and how it empowers relationships) 2. Hopelessness that love will never find us. #cathdate

threelittleowls RT @CallAllWitness: @AveMariaSingles Long answer… “It’s complicated” #cathdate -8:40 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CI_Girl_1974 RT @rebeccamodestia: IMHO: 1. A misunderstanding of true love (and how it empowers relationships) 2. Hopelessness that love will never find us. #cathdate -8:40 PM Jun 14th, 2011

TXKristan We have been confused by what love truly is (romantic and otherwise) #cathdate -8:41 PM Jun 14th, 2011

6stonejars I think there is a lot of confusion as to what real love is. So many believe they have found love, but it still falls apart. #cathdate -8:41 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CallAllWitness @rebeccamodestia I think that misunderstanding comes, in part, from a lack of thought. We look for our info in 30 sec soundbites. #cathdate -8:42 PM Jun 14th, 2011

threelittleowls @rebeccamodestia Agreed! Especially, and personally, with #2. #cathdate -8:42 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CI_Girl_1974 @trinichiqn -ditto. Feelings of unworthiness are the biggest problems. #cathdate -8:43 PM Jun 14th, 2011

6stonejars Haha! So true, threelittleowls. It IS complicated. “Why” can be so difficult to answer. #cathdate -8:44 PM Jun 14th, 2011

TXKristan @6stonejars I think Foreigner sang it … “I wanna know what love is … ” #Cathdate -8:44 PM Jun 14th, 2011

rebeccamodestia @CallAllWitness Also a lack of modeling in the home. In my case, I grew up in a non-practicing Catholic single parent home. #cathdate

6stonejars Unworthliness. That is a good point. Bad self-esteem can cause loss of confidence, which hurts the pursuit of love. #cathdate -8:45 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CJMar10ez Hey y’all! #cathdate -8:45 PM Jun 14th, 2011

nomoblues @rebeccamodestia Yes, our Faith Formation (and journey) is definitely a factor #cathdate -8:46 PM Jun 14th, 2011

AveMariaSingles @CJMar10ez Welcome! 🙂 #cathdate -8:47 PM Jun 14th, 2011

threelittleowls @6stonejars As much as we want real love, it is scary, too – requires self-sacrifice, vulnerability, openness, communication. #cathdate -8:47 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CallAllWitness @TXKristan @6stonejars And like I said in my post. TT: What’s love but a second hand emotion? It’s all to easy to believe this. #cathdate -8:47 PM Jun 14th, 2011

nomoblues @CallAllWitness Funny how mystery of the incarnation speaks 2 this That our Lord humbled Himself to be like us to show our dignity #cathdate -8:49 PM Jun 14th, 201

6stonejars Real love is scary, but it is liberating. What is scary is marrying for the wrong reasons. #cathdate -8:49 PM Jun 14th, 2011

TXKristan my biggest fear! RT @6stonejars Real love is scary, but it is liberating. What is scary is marrying for the wrong reasons. #cathdate -8:51 PM Jun 14th, 2011

nomoblues @6stonejars That marrying for the wrong reasons is what makes me nervous for couples at some weddings 🙂 #cathdate #9moMarriagePrep #pray -8:52 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CJMar10ez @6stonejars I was just having a conversation about that (marrying for the wrong reasons) yesterday. #cathdate -8:52 PM Jun 14th, 2011

rebeccamodestia @TXKristan Which speaks to the need for church community and mentoring…but I’m getting away from the original question. #cathdate -8:53 PM Jun 14th, 2011

6stonejars Second hand emotion. Sad that love can elevate no higher than emotion. True love desires to serve, and must be mutual. #cathdate

CallAllWitness @TXKristan Which is why we need promote marriage prep more. Priests spend yrs preparing, why so short for couples? #cathdate -8:55 PM Jun 14th, 2011

6stonejars Marriage prep starts with with knowing yourself. It starts while you’re single. We give ourselves in love. We better know ourself #cathdate

threelittleowls @TXKristan I’m more afraid of never finding someone. Not enough #cathdudes for all the Catholic women I know. #cathdate -8:56 PM Jun 14th, 2011

TXKristan @threelittleowls I believe that he needs to find us (well, you know what I mean) #cathdate -8:58 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CJMar10ez @TXKristan @threelittleowls y’all should visit Austin. Plenty of #cathdudes. Kristin, you’re not that far away…. #cathdate -8:59 PM Jun 14th, 2011

6stonejars Never finding someone is scary, for sure. But better to remain single never finding real love, then be in a miserable marriage. #cathdate -9:00 PM Jun 14th, 2011

TXKristan @threelittleowls and I’m becoming more at peace with the idea that God may not be calling me to marriage. #Cathdate -9:00 PM Jun 14th, 2011

threelittleowls RT @6stonejars: Marriage prep starts with with knowing yourself. It starts while you’re single. We give ourselves in love. We better know ourself #cathdate -9:00 PM Jun 14th, 2011

nomoblues @threelittleowls Funny that I’ve always viewed it as not enough #cathsorority / cathladies around. Have to look harder. #cathdate #cathdudes -9:00 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CJMar10ez @6stonejars I would be in favor of YA or singles ministries promoting “know thyself” a little more. Any suggestions on how? #cathdate -9:01 PM Jun 14th, 2011

threelittleowls @6stonejars Random question: would you agree that however much one is prepared for marriage, one is never fully prepared? (cont’d) #cathdate -9:01 PM Jun 14th, 2011

rebeccamodestia @threelittleowls I’ve chosen to accept that prospect & live a full life now. I know girls who turned 30 realizing they haven’t. #cathdate -9:01 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CI_Girl_1974 @CJMar10ez Good idea! #cathdate -9:01 PM Jun 14th, 2011

threelittleowls @6stonejars Meaning, have to live it to truly understand it and how it works? #cathdate #skippingtomarriage #sorry -9:01 PM Jun 14th, 2011

TXKristan @CJMar10ez I suggest spiritual direction #cathdate -9:02 PM Jun 14th, 2011

6stonejars So before you can find “the one”, you need to become a great catch yourself. Which leads to our next question. #cathdate -9:03 PM Jun 14th, 2011

AveMariaSingles Q2: What does it mean to be a real person? #cathdate -9:04 PM Jun 14th, 2011

rebeccamodestia A wise Jesuit once told me if I wanted to learn about myself I needed to serve others. Best advice I’ve ever gotten. #cathdate -9:04 PM Jun 14th, 2011

threelittleowls @rebeccamodestia @TXKristan I’m half and half on the issue. Honestly, depends on my mood and what’s happened on a given day, haha! #cathdate -9:04 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CJMar10ez @TXKristan That’s a good one.I was also thinking about ways we could give ourselves in love.Hard to find spiritual drs w/time. #cathdate -9:05 PM Jun 14th, 2011

6stonejars Never wait until you are full prepared. Marriage is on the job training. You both need to be who you are and help mates. #cathdate -9:05 PM Jun 14th, 2011

ldelc RT @6stonejars: Never wait until you are full prepared. Marriage is on the job training. You both need to be who you are and help mates. #cathdate -9:06 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CJMar10ez @AveMariaSingles Be true to who you are. Authentic. #cathdate -9:06 PM Jun 14th, 2011

threelittleowls @AveMariaSingles Being a person who doesn’t wear masks. Comfortable being oneself. #cathdate -9:06 PM Jun 14th, 2011

ldelc RT @6stonejars: Marriage prep starts with with knowing yourself. It starts while you’re single. We give ourselves in love. We better know ourself #cathdate -9:07 PM Jun 14th, 2011

threelittleowls RT @6stonejars: Never wait until you are full prepared. Marriage is on the job training. You both need to be who you are and help mates. #cathdate -9:07 PM Jun 14th, 2011

6stonejars So true! Serving others forces us out of ourselves, and as a result, we discover ourselves. #cathdate -9:07 PM Jun 14th, 2011

ldelc RT @6stonejars: Real love is scary, but it is liberating. What is scary is marrying for the wrong reasons. #cathdate -9:08 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CallAllWitness @AveMariaSingles Being made in the image & likeness of God, we can learn a lot about what it means to be a real person from Jesus #cathdate -9:09 PM Jun 14th, 2011

6stonejars We should also not be quick to get rid of things we know will please the other. You want to be accepted for who you are. #cathdate -9:10 PM Jun 14th, 2011

rebeccamodestia Q2: I guess I would say you become ‘real’ when you become accountable to God, yourself, and the people around you. #cathdate -9:11 PM Jun 14th, 2011

threelittleowls @6stonejars Can you clarify that last tweet? Getting rid of things the other will be pleased by? #cathdate #confused -9:11 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CJMar10ez @threelittleowls @6stonejars I think he means don’t go changing to try to please the other person. #cathdate -9:13 PM Jun 14th, 2011

rebeccamodestia Meaning you begin to develop your own desires, but are also aware of how they effect you, your relationship with God & others. #cathdate -9:13 PM Jun 14th, 2011

6stonejars Sure. You like someone and don’t want to lose the person, can tempt us to try and adapt to them, risking losing ourselves. #cathdate -9:13 PM Jun 14th, 2011

AveMariaSingles @threelittleowls To thine own self be true. #cathdate -9:14 PM Jun 14th, 2011

nomoblues @rebeccamodestia Yes! accountability @6stonejars That’s a hard one for people –“losing their soul” in order to keep up appeal #cathdate -9:15 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CallAllWitness @6stonejars I think you see that “adapting” so much in teens because they don’t know who they are yet. Then trouble arises later. #cathdate -9:15 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CJMar10ez @CallAllWitness @6stonejars So I have a question – what makes a person a “real” man or woman? #cathdate -9:18 PM Jun 14th, 2011

6stonejars Desire to serve another is true love. But losing who you are in the process makes it slavery. Love’s service springs from YOU. #cathdate -9:18 PM Jun 14th, 2011

6stonejars Who you are starts with Christ. We are baptized into His life, and we are therefore HIS. Loving others flows from that identity. #cathdate -9:21 PM Jun 14th, 2011

prolifegaby RT @6stonejars: Desire to serve another is true love. But losing who you are in the process makes it slavery. Love’s service springs from YOU. #cathdate -9:22 PM Jun 14th, 2011

Gabriellig RT @6stonejars: Who you are starts with Christ. We are baptized into His life, and we are therefore HIS. Loving others flows from that identity. #cathdate -9:23 PM Jun 14th, 2011

threelittleowls @CallAllWitness @6stonejars Takes discernment to know what is adapting to a new relationship and what is changing oneself #cathdate -9:23 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CallAllWitness @CJMar10ez The more we reflect that image of God, the more “real” we are as men and women. @6stonejars #cathdate -9:24 PM Jun 14th, 2011

threelittleowls RT @6stonejars: Who you are starts with Christ. We are baptized into His life, and we are therefore HIS. Loving others flows from that identity. #cathdate -9:24 PM Jun 14th, 2011

prolifegaby Yes!!!! Very true!! RT @6stonejars So true! Serving others forces us out of ourselves, and as a result, we discover ourselves. #cathdate -9:29 PM Jun 14th, 2011

prolifegaby RT @6stonejars: Marriage prep starts with with knowing yourself. It starts while you’re single. We give ourselves in love. We better know ourself #cathdate -9:30 PM Jun 14th, 2011

6stonejars I will see you here again in two weeks on June 28 at 8:30pm EST. #cathdate -9:31 PM Jun 14th, 2011

rebeccamodestia Great talking to everyone! Thanks @6stonejars for hosting! #cathdate -9:31 PM Jun 14th, 2011

AveMariaSingles Looking forward to seeing you all again 6/28 at 8:30 EST. Tweet topics or questions to us or @6stonejars. God bless. #cathdate -9:32 PM Jun 14th, 2011

CI_Girl_1974 Thanks for a good chat! #cathdate -9:33 PM Jun 14th, 2011

AveMariaSingles As usual, we’ll be posting tonight’s transcript on our blog. http://bit.ly/fbl3f6 #cathdate -9:35 PM Jun 14th, 2011

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