Skip to content

August 9 #cathdate transcript

August 10, 2011
by

Here is the transcript from our August 9 #cathdate chat. If you have topics you’d like to discuss during our next chat, please let us know!

AveMariaSingles Welcome everyone! Don’t forget to intro yourself. First date ideas and more at our blog: http://bit.ly/fbl3f6 #cathdate -8:28 PM
EHillgrove RT @AveMariaSingles: Welcome everyone! Don’t forget to intro yourself. First date ideas and more at our blog: http://bit.ly/fbl3f6 #cathdate -8:29 PM
6stonejars Hi Everyone. Anthony Buono. AMS and 6 Stone Jars. It’s been a while. #cathdate -8:30 PM
trinichiqn I’m here. Nikki from Trinidad. #cathdate -8:30 PM
EHillgrove I’m Elizabeth, a twenty-something #Catholic woman who blogs (whoa, shameless plug) and has a wonderful boyfriend! #cathdate -8:31 PM
AveMariaSingles Shameless plugs for Catholic blogs welcome. #cathdate -8:33 PM
nomoblues @AveMariaSingles Hello all. I’m @nomoblues Catholic young man from southern CA #cathdate -8:33 PM
2myhomewardDove Hey everyone. I’m Alicia, a twentysomething #Catholic who also blogs, from Massachusetts. #cathdate -8:34 PM
AveMariaSingles Tonight’s first “question” is really a topic & we’ll be following a slightly different format for fun. #cathdate -8:35 PM
EHillgrove @AveMariaSingles Woot! You don’t have to tell me twice http://bit.ly/fFw8Qp #cathdate -8:35 PM Aug 9th, 2011
EHillgrove @trinichiqn Trinidad!! Cool! #cathdate -8:36 PM
threelittleowls Woot! Big “S” & Little “s” singles united once again πŸ˜‰ I’m Trista & I blog at notaminx.blogspot.com & @BrightMaidens! #cathdate
AveMariaSingles Q1: Playing hard to get vs. preserving your mystery. What does it mean? #cathdate -8:37 PM
AveMariaSingles Q1: Boy & Girl go for date.Boy never calls.Girl doesn’t call him, either. Hard to get, or preserving mystery? #cathdate
EHillgrove @AveMariaSingles Interesting distinction! I want to see @threelittleowls answer this πŸ˜‰ #cathdate -8:38 PM
threelittleowls @AveMariaSingles Not enough to know. Did she thank him & give hints she’d want to see him again? If y, then preserving mystery. #cathdate -8:39 PM
EHillgrove @AveMariaSingles Preserving mystery. #cathdate -8:39 PM
EHillgrove @threelittleowls Good point…. #cathdate -8:39 PM
EHillgrove @CallAllWitness @palaminko #cathdudes #cathsorority where are you?! #Cathdate happening here -8:40 PM
threelittleowls @EHillgrove @AveMariaSingles Don’t tease me, E! You know I get all muddled when it comes to mystery. #cathdate -8:40 PM
EHillgrove @threelittleowls sorry, that was uncharitable. But I really think you know! #cathdate -8:40 PM
threelittleowls RT @EHillgrove: @CallAllWitness @palaminko #cathdudes #cathsorority where are you?! #Cathdate happening here -8:40 PM
6stonejars Boy will call if he is interested. That much we know. She should not call. #cathdate -8:40 PM
threelittleowls @EHillgrove Haha, that was not uncharitable! πŸ™‚ #cathdate -8:41 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars What about a text hello or thank you? Should she just not contact him…at all? #cathdate -8:41 PM
2myhomewardDove @AveMariaSingles i guess, is it wrong to play games? or to just be honest & straightforward? #cathdate -8:42 PM
nomoblues @AveMariaSingles boy may not know better. It’s the boy’s call in life to continually propose/pursue and accept rejection #cathdate #theCross -8:42 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars We often don’t speak of texting when we have the #cathdate. I’m curious. -8:42 PM
EHillgrove @threelittleowls @6stonejars I say no contact from her. I used to think she should, but he needs to step up #cathdate -8:43 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars @AveMariaSingles Can men “play hard to get”? Or is that just “not interested”? #cathdate -8:44 PM
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove I’m wondering when it’s okay for her take initiative. after the beginning? @threelittleowls @6stonejars #cathdate -8:44 PM
6stonejars Texting might seem okay, but it’s still a “move”. A date should end with the man having the next move. #cathdate -8:44 PM
EHillgrove Men CAN play hard to get…. but that’s like shooting yourself in the foot. #cathdate -8:44 PM
threelittleowls @EHillgrove And yet…I think they do sometimes!! #cathdate -8:45 PM
6stonejars A man playing hard to get? That implies he is to be “gotten” by her. Not good. #cathdate -8:45 PM
palaminko @threelittleowls @6stonejars @AveMariaSingles Please excuse my disheveled appearance & tardiness…just finished workout πŸ˜‰ #cathdate -8:45 PM
EHillgrove @2myhomewardDove Yeah, once there is an established relationship, the two can talk about it. But keep in mind “the mystery” #cathdate
threelittleowls @2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove I think I usually text “thank you” on the same night if I’m interested…breaking #cathdate rules! Whoops! -8:46 PM
EHillgrove @threelittleowls They sure do sometimes. And those who do… don’t get the girl. #notwinning #cathdate -8:47 PM
palaminko @threelittleowls @EHillgrove if man is playing hard to get, bad dynamic: means *you* are now pursuing *him* #cathdate -8:47
6stonejars @threelittleowls @2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove No worries. That seems harmless. Hopefully he knows that means you are interested. #cathdate -8:47 PM
EHillgrove RT @palaminko: @threelittleowls @EHillgrove if man is playing hard to get, bad dynamic: means *you* are now pursuing *him* #cathdate -8:48 PM
ldelc RT @6stonejars: Boy will call if he is interested. That much we know. She should not call. #cathdate -8:48 PM
AveMariaSingles Q1: Girl is friendly at a party & drops hint to mutual friend that she’s interested in Boy. Smart? Or too forward? #cathdate -8:48 PM
2myhomewardDove @threelittleowls yeah I can see something like that being okay. #cathdate -8:48
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove @palaminko @threelittleowls agreed! I feel like it never really ends well… #cathdate -8:49 PM
trinichiqn @palaminko @threelittleowls @EHillgrove I prefer to be pursued. If a guy wants to be pursued is he really interested? #cathdate -8:49 PM
EHillgrove @AveMariaSingles That’s a toughie. Did she just SEE him at this party? Or do they already know each other. Reading into this… #cathdate -8:49 PM
EHillgrove MT @trinichiqn: @palaminko @threelittleowls I prefer to be pursued. If a guy wants to be pursued is he really interested? #cathdate -8:49 PM
EHillgrove I think a text “thank you” that night is alright, too. But I definitely tried to show them I was interested before the end of date #cathdate -8:50 PM
trinichiqn @AveMariaSingles Is she close to the friend or just one of the group. Close smart. #cathdate -8:51 PM
threelittleowls @palaminko @6stonejars @2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove I agree! Not a “move” but a hint! #cathdate -8:51 PM
6stonejars Dropping the hint to the mutual friend is strategy. Therefore, smart. Forward would be telling him directly. #cathdate -8:51 PM
EHillgrove On this new question: if she’s just seeing him at the party…I don’t think she should make a move like tht unless they’re friends #cathdate -8:52 PM
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove yeah, I think the trouble too is how you’re showing him you’re interested, you know? fine line… #cathdate -8:52 PM
EHillgrove and even then, I don’t know about trying to do it through a grapevine #cathdate -8:52 PM
they’ve met before but are not close. #cathdate -8:52 PM Aug 9th, 2011
2myhomewardDove RT @threelittleowls: @palaminko @6stonejars @2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove I agree! Not a “move” but a hint! #cathdate -8:52 PM
AveMariaSingles @EHillgrove For the sake of argument we’ll say they’ve met before but are not close. #cathdate -8:52 PM Aug 9th, 201
6stonejars @EHillgrove Say thank you in person. Leave him with your eyes and smile and last words, not your text. #cathdate -8:53
EHillgrove @AveMariaSingles Okay, sorry I’m very analytical. I love details… πŸ™‚ #cathdate -8:53 PM
EHillgrove RT @6stonejars: @EHillgrove Say thank you in person. Leave him with your eyes and smile and last words, not your text. #cathdate -8:53 PM
CallAllWitness @6stonejars Sorry, I’m late!! Agreed! Sometimes we men need that little encouragement, & maybe we didn’t notice there was an opp? #cathdate -8:53 PM
palaminko @EHillgrove yeah, not sure what to think about this one…maybe just attempt to get an introduction out of talking to friend? #cathdate -8:53 PM
threelittleowls @EHillgrove Well, we’re women, of course we do! Hehe. #cathdate @AveMariaSingles -8:53 PM
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove haha lol same way…part of my problem sometimes in this area πŸ™‚ #cathdate -8:54 PM
EHillgrove I think the biggest takeaway is that both man and woman should be PRESENT during the date, so they can listen to the hints #cathdate -8:54 PM
nomoblues RT @6stonejars: @EHillgrove Say thank you in person. Leave him with your eyes and smile and last words, not your text. #cathdate -8:55 PM
6stonejars @CallAllWitness So true. Men need some indication that it is okay to pursue, then let him take it from there. #cathdate -8:56 PM
threelittleowls @EHillgrove Agreed! Men, pull out your best manners. Ladies, let him treat you well. Couple, cellphones away & listen up. #cathdate -8:56 PM
palaminko @EHillgrove haha, yes…mentally, not just physically #cathdate -8:56 PM
EHillgrove @2myhomewardDove Someone very wise told me today (@CallAllWitness ) that men are pretty darn clear. Our detailed selves can relax #cathdate -8:56 PM
AveMariaSingles Hard to get on the date if you didn’t find a way to invite one when you had your chance. #cathdate -8:57 PM
EHillgrove RT @threelittleowls: @EHillgrove Agreed! Men, pull out your best manners. Ladies, let him treat you well. Couple, cellphones away & listen up. #cathdate -8:57 PM
EHillgrove @threelittleowls **Let him treat you well** Good point! #cathdate -8:57 PM
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove lol thank goodness that’s been cleared up. sometimes he’s just not that into you i guess πŸ˜‰ @CallAllWitness #cathdate -8:58 PM
EHillgrove @palaminko Yes, if you’re not there physically, you’re in more trouble than anyone… #cathdate -8:58 PM
CallAllWitness @threelittleowls @EHillgrove What if you’re talking to each other on your cell phones?? πŸ™‚ #cathdate -8:58 PM
palaminko @AveMariaSingles we (guys) are responsible for taking the opportunities we’re given. no need to fret the ones we don’t get. #cathdate -8:59 PM
threelittleowls @EHillgrove We’re so nice we often fret about money, inconvenience, etc. Still be kind, but resist letting those thoughts lead. #cathdate -8:59 PM
EHillgrove @2myhomewardDove If he’s not into you, it’s not right, so there’s nothing to be upset about! (harder to do than say) #cathdate -9:00 PM
palaminko @threelittleowls @EHillgrove as cliche as it may sound, (ladies) don’t kill yourselves (or us!) with misplaced kindness! #cathdate -9:00 PM
AveMariaSingles Now for our more difficult topic: Q2: How can I recover from being hurt in a relationship? #cathdate -9:00 PM
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove agreed. it’s always better in the long run. #cathdate -9:00 PM
EHillgrove @CallAllWitness Okay, okay, good point. But there should be a date in person at some point along the way πŸ˜‰ @threelittleowls #cathdate -9:01 PM
EHillgrove hahaha RT @threelittleowls: @CallAllWitness @EHillgrove ON the date?! That would be silly. #cathdate -9:01 PM
6stonejars RT @AveMariaSingles: Now for our more difficult topic: Q2: How can I recover from being hurt in a relationship? #cathdate -9:01 PM
2myhomewardDove @threelittleowls ooh that’s definitely a good point. It’s so easy to lose hope sometimes. @EHillgrove #cathdate -9:02 PM
palaminko @AveMariaSingles Q2: first bring it to God and renew that relationship–absolutely before doing anything else #cathdate -9:02 PM
threelittleowls @AveMariaSingles I have a blog post on that! #breakups http://t.co/rbyDiKo #cathdate -9:03 P
EHillgrove @threelittleowls has a whole series on the “how to” of healing http://bit.ly/nouG1d #cathdate -9:03 PM
EHillgrove @threelittleowls Aw you beat me to it! #cathdate -9:03 PM
EHillgrove RT @palaminko: @AveMariaSingles Q2: first bring it to God and renew that relationship–absolutely before doing anything else #cathdate -9:03 PM
CallAllWitness RT @threelittleowls: @AveMariaSingles I have a blog post on that! #breakups http://t.co/rbyDiKo #cathdate -9:04 PM
2myhomewardDove @palaminko definitely. dealing w/ the hurt soon after is really key. @AveMariaSingles #cathdate -9:04 PM
EHillgrove Q2: Back to basics. Go to the Sacraments, back to a full prayer life, baby steps. Be a *friend* to everyone #cathdate -9:04 P
palaminko @2myhomewardDove @AveMariaSingles next, was believing that the relationship still had a good purpose–even if that came later #cathdate -9:05 PM
6stonejars Getting hurt is part of any relationship, even in marriage. You can’t allow it to go too deep and settle. #cathdate -9:06 PM
EHillgrove @palaminko superb and VERY important point, sir #cathdate -9:06 PM
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove I think esp. in rel. where u haven’t been treated well. Staying close to the Sacr. heals u from inside out. #cathdate -9:06 PM
palaminko @EHillgrove Thank you! I think that was my biggest stumbling block after my most recent breakup #cathdate -9:08 PM
EHillgrove Can I say crying is a part of the healing? I agree with @6stonejars, you shouldn’t let it go to deep, but let off the top layer #cathdate -9:08 PM
2myhomewardDove @palaminko good point. everyone has something to teach us, even if it doesn’t seem so at 1st or even after. @AveMariaSingles #cathdate -9:08 PM
palaminko @6stonejars Q2: I’d also like to make a plug for praying to St. Raphael for his help in healing and finding a better match #cathdate -9:08 PM
EHillgrove @palaminko Mine too, definitely. I kept wanting to just beat myself up for the bad parts. #cathdate -9:08 PM
6stonejars Allow yourself to feel hurt. It’s normal. But don’t take it so personally. Time does heal. #cathdate -9:08 PM
6stonejars @EHillgrove Yes, crying is definitely part of healing. #cathdate -9:09 PM
trinichiqn @EHillgrove @6stonejars I think crying is good. No matter how bad we need to mourn. #cathdate -9:10 PM
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove When the self-doubt & self-judgment sets in you know you’re in trouble. That is harder to get rid of. @palaminko #cathdate -9:10 PM
EHillgrove @trinichiqn Sometimes you just have to cry. I broke down at Mass one day and it was amazing. @6stonejars #cathdate -9:10 PM
EHillgrove @2myhomewardDove True! Yes, it takes over like black smoke. You need God’s help to escape that kind of doubt, judgment and guilt #cathdate -9:11 PM
palaminko @EHillgrove @trinichiqn @6stonejars “And Jesus wept.” See, it’s even biblical! πŸ™‚ #cathdate -9:12 PM
EHillgrove @palaminko Hey look at that! #cathdate -9:12 PM
6stonejars Too many retreat from risk after being hurt. But you have to risk being hurt again. Love demands that risk taking. #cathdate -9:12 PM
2myhomewardDove @EHillgrove Definitely. There’s no way I could do it on my own. #cathdate -9:12 P
EHillgrove RT @6stonejars: Too many retreat from risk after being hurt. But you have to risk being hurt again. Love demands that risk taking. #cathdate -9:13 PM
2myhomewardDove RT @6stonejars: Too many retreat from risk after being hurt. But you have to risk being hurt again.Love demands that risk taking. #cathdate -9:13 PM
nomoblues @palaminko Dominus Flevit Luke 19 #cathdate -9:13 P
palaminko @EHillgrove forgot the citation…I think it’s Jn 11:35…shortest verse in the Bible #cathdate -9:13 PM
EHillgrove “Love demands that risk taking.” via @6stonejars #cathdate -9:13 PM
2myhomewardDove @6stonejars Not becoming jaded is also something to look out for. Ugh…worst feeling. #cathdate -9:14 PM
EHillgrove @palaminko yeah, “He wept.” I don’t know the verses… I need to work on that, but hey, we know the stories and teachings! #cathdate -9:14 PM
palaminko @nomoblues great catch, bud! #cathdate -9:14 PM
Monikarw RT @6stonejars: Boy will call if he is interested. That much we know. She should not call. #cathdate -9:15 PM
EHillgrove @nomoblues Nice! #cathdate -9:15 PM
6stonejars @2myhomewardDove Yes, no jaded please. Everyone is seeking their happiness in love. Keep seeking yours. #cathdate -9:15 PM
EHillgrove The phrase “hurts so good” comes to mind with regard to this risk taking after being hurt #cathdate -9:15 PM
palaminko @2myhomewardDove @6stonejars Yup! Gotta be in a good place personally because you never know when someone special will show up #cathdate -9:15 PM
threelittleowls @6stonejars Can we talk about how men should appropriately pursue? I’ve had men stalk, manipulate, etc. to get a date. #cathdate -9:16 PM
2myhomewardDove @palaminko @nomoblues @EHillgrove such a beautifully profound verse. Sometimes I just meditate in prayer on that… #cathdate -9:16 PM
EHillgrove @threelittleowls Wow, that’s scary. Yeah, you have some stories. #cathdate -9:16 PM
AveMariaSingles RT @threelittleowls: Can we talk about how men should appropriately pursue? I’ve had men stalk,manipulate,etc. to get a date. #cathdate -9:16 PM
EHillgrove I would love to talk about how attraction plays into dating, of course, with TOB in mind #cathdate -9:17 PM
2myhomewardDove @palaminko That’s true. No one wants to date a wallower! (Don’t know if that’s a word…) @6stonejars #cathdate -9:17 PM
palaminko @AveMariaSingles @threelittleowls Q3(?): First, love ain’t love if it ain’t free. No holding hostage, emotionally or otherwise #cathdate -9:18 PM
2myhomewardDove RT @6stonejars: @2myhomewardDove Yes, no jaded please. Everyone is seeking their happiness in love. Keep seeking yours. #cathdate -9:18 PM
nomoblues @palaminko Wept over Lazarus: Jn 11:35 — Wept over Jerusalem: Lk 19:41 #cathdate -9:19 PM
EHillgrove And in answer to @threelittleowls … they should take “no” and hang onto it as they walk away. If she’s nice to you, be gracious #cathdate -9:19 PM
2myhomewardDove @palaminko Soo agree. Emotional manipulation & stringing people along is not love. @AveMariaSingles @threelittleowls #cathdate -9:20 PM
6stonejars @threelittleowls Men who stalk don’t think they are. It’s sad, but some men don’t know how to read a woman properly. #cathdate -9:21 PM
palaminko @EHillgrove @threelittleowls Girls, protect your space at all costs when being pursued. And be clear when that space is violated. #cathdate -9:21 PM
threelittleowls RT @palaminko: @AveMariaSingles @threelittleowls Q3(?): First, love ain’t love if it ain’t free. No holding hostage, emotionally or otherwise #cathdate -9:22 PM
palaminko @6stonejars @threelittleowls Most reasonable guys will realize their error when you point it out… #cathdate -9:22 PM
palaminko @6stonejars @threelittleowls …for the unreasonable guys, talk to your brothers, fathers, or uncles for assistance πŸ˜‰ #cathdate -9:23 PM
threelittleowls @palaminko @6stonejars If I’m scared/nervous, I’m not sticking around to chat with them…#cathdate -9:23 PM
6stonejars @palaminko True. If he is classy. And if she is classy, she will allow him to recover and give him another shot. #cathdate -9:23 PM
palaminko @threelittleowls @6stonejars I’m not talking about chatting… “Back off!” and then get the hell outta dodge! #cathdate -9:24 PM
6stonejars @threelittleowls That’s part of preserving your mystery. Men must learn to make a girl feel safe and at ease. #cathdate -9:25 PM
EHillgrove My sister had an issue with a pretty scary “pursuer.” If your instincts are going off… you need to tell someone. #cathdate -9:25 PM
2myhomewardDove @palaminko hahaahaa! good idea. @6stonejars @threelittleowls #cathdate -9:26 PM
CatholicNotions RT @EHillgrove: My sister had an issue with a pretty scary “pursuer.” If your instincts are going off… you need to tell someone. #cathdate -9:26 PM
palaminko @6stonejars @threelittleowls True. We’re also responsible for safeguarding the women in our lives who we aren’t dating #cathdate -9:27 PM
EHillgrove My dad used to joke that he was going to send a friend of his to the restaurant during my date. I don’t know if he ever did… #cathdate -9:27 PM
EHillgrove That last tweet was about mystery preservation #cathdate -9:28 PM
threelittleowls RT @palaminko: @6stonejars @threelittleowls True. We’re also responsible for safeguarding the women in our lives who we aren’t dating #cathdate -9:28 PM
CatholicNotions RT @6stonejars: Too many retreat from risk after being hurt. But you have to risk being hurt again. Love demands that risk taking. #cathdate -9:28 PM
CatholicNotions RT @EHillgrove: @trinichiqn Sometimes you just have to cry. I broke down at Mass one day and it was amazing. @6stonejars #cathdate -9:29 PM
6stonejars @palaminko You’re a very nice guy. Some woman is going to be lucky to have you πŸ™‚ #cathdate -9:30 P
2myhomewardDove @threelittleowls @palaminko Good point. What are the responsibilities 4 women toward men in this respect? @6stonejars #cathdate -9:30 PM
EHillgrove I agree with @6stonejars about @palaminko … Hey, I have a sister (kidding, kidding) #cathdate -9:31 PM
6stonejars As always, the time flew. We are back on the 23rd at 8:30. Sorry for such a long time in between the last one. #cathdate -9:31 PM
palaminko @6stonejars Thanks–I appreciate it! All in good time πŸ™‚ #cathdate -9:31 PM
16bitcatholic 1st thing I said 2 my wife @alliwait when we first met was “wow your cute, give me a hug!” 9 times out of 10 u get slapped 4 that. #cathdate -9:31 PM
2myhomewardDove @6stonejars Great chat! Thanks! #cathdate -9:31 PM
palaminko @2myhomewardDove @threelittleowls @6stonejars ooo, we should go over that during the next chat #cathdate -9:32 PM
EHillgrove @16bitcatholic Hahaha yes, I’m not sure how I would have reacted to that #cathdate -9:32 P
2myhomewardDove @palaminko Definitely. Idk, sometimes it seems a little less clear. @threelittleowls @6stonejars #cathdate -9:33 PM
AveMariaSingles Tweet any requested topics for next time to us! Or DM if you prefer. See you all 8/23 at 8:30 p.m. EST. #cathdate -9:34 PM
palaminko @6stonejars TTFN, folks…I have a long overdue date with dinner πŸ˜‰ #cathdate -9:34 PM
6stonejars Yes, great chat. See you in two weeks. Follow these kinds of topics at 6stonejars.com. Good night to you all. #cathdate -9:35 PM

Advertisements
No comments yet

Anything to add?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: