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August 23 #cathdate chat transcript

August 25, 2011

AveMariaSingles All you west coasters can laugh at us east coasters and our #earthquake tonight. 🙂 #cathdate -8:28 PM

nomoblues @AveMariaSingles ahaha #pray 🙂 #cathdate -8:30 PM

AveMariaSingles Take a minute to introduce yourself! We’re blogging about dating online & off at #cathdate -8:31 PM

6stonejars Anthony Buono, and #cathdate -8:32 PM

EHillgrove @AveMariaSingles Hi y’all! I wanted to say hey, but I’m traveling for work and I can’t make it to #cathdate … just enough to say hi! -8:33 PM

nomoblues @AveMariaSingles I’m nomoblues, Catholic young man in Southern CA. Blog link in my profile #cathdate -8:34 PM

trinichiqn Hi Nikki from Trinidad here #cathdate -8:35 PM

AveMariaSingles Typically we start with a topic, so we have something to deviate from. 🙂 Tonight we’re talking about dating non-Catholics. #cathdate -8:38 P

6stonejars Well, even the fewer of us can make great transcript, right? #cathdate -8:38 PM

6stonejars Anyone have experience dating non-Catholics?#cathdate -8:39 PM

AveMariaSingles RT @6stonejars: Anyone have experience dating non-Catholics? #cathdate -8:39 PM

nomoblues @6stonejars #cathdate Yes, it’s always fun to see where your Catholicism will shine through in relating to them. -8:41

6stonejars Or thought about it, or questioned if you should or not?#cathdate -8:41

6stonejars @nomoblues Do you think a Catholic “should” be open to dating a non-Catholic? #cathdate -8:42 PM

trinichiqn @AveMariaSingles @6stonejars Kind of. I have dated any long term but I have been on dates with a few. Not doing again.#cathdate -8:42 PM

6stonejars @trinichiqn No? Why not? #cathdate -8:43 PM Aug 23rd, 2011

clsiegel Thought about it, but the more involved in Parish Life I become, the less interested I am in someone that I can’t share that with. #cathdate -8:43 PM

nomoblues @6stonejars #cathdate It’s a challenge to find a practicing Catholic or at least someone open to the Faith -8:43 PM

6stonejars @nomoblues Yes. I believe that is why I come across so many who do date non-Catholics. #cathdate -8:44 PM

trinichiqn @6stonejars One always made a point of asking if I was a Christian then trying to see what he could get me to do. trouble#cathdate -8:45 PM

6stonejars @clsiegel Sharing the Catholic faith is a big help in a marriage. Especially in raising children that come along. #cathdate-8:45 PM

nomoblues @gedert014 #cathdate It’s true that converts to Catholicism can be a great inspiration -8:46 PM

trinichiqn on a cath forum I see to many wives lamenting their noncath husbands, not open to life no Mass I want to share my Faith #cathdate -8:47 PM

6stonejars @trinichiqn I’m sure they never considered these kind of problems before marriage. Or if they did, they ignored it.#cathdate -8:49 PM

6stonejars How about a very devout Protestant? Would that be an okay non-Catholic to consider, since they love Jesus so much?#cathdate -8:50 PM

nomoblues @gedert014 #cathdate at the same time the boyfriend/girlfriend of the convert wouldn’t be their RCIA sponsor 🙂 Freely choosing Christ -8:51 PM

trinichiqn @6stonejars I never considered it either but their experiences have made me think about it #cathdate -8:51 PM

nomoblues @trinichiqn #cathdate Yes, it’s odd to see all the women at Mass/prayer and not many men -8:52 PM

6stonejars But in truth, a Catholic in name only can be just as dangerous for a marriage as a non-Catholic. Don’t you agree?#cathdate -8:52 PM

trinichiqn @6stonejars definitely. The same problems probably even worse. #cathdate -8:54 PM

6stonejars @trinichiqn I agree. So it is about finding someone who shares your Catholic beliefs and desires to live them. #cathdate -8:55 PM

marleyblakedog @6stonejars Absolutely. It means you have to be really firm in your faith bc your partner isn’t a reliable source.#cathdate -8:55 PM

marleyblakedog I’m Chase, btw. Late arriver to the chat.#cathdate -8:55 PM

6stonejars @marleyblakedog Hi Chase. Yes, the believer has to carry the load often. And that is not easy to do, or sustain#cathdate -8:57 PM

AveMariaSingles Is Catholicism something you bring up right away? What if you are interested in someone and don’t realize they’re not Catholic? #cathdate -8:57 PM

nomoblues @6stonejars #cathdate Scary to call it dangerous since I see Catholic women marry non-Catholics in the Church. All you can do is pray -8:57 PM

Yvadne Dated nonCatholics when I was a “Cafeteria Catholic” now that I’m Roman Catholic it’s not an option. #cathdate -8:58 PM

marleyblakedog @6stonejars I think the same goes for the Protestant ? you posed earlier. Invariably, something comes up that you differ on. #cathdate -8:58 P

6stonejars Differences are okay, but having a mutually agreed on authority (the Catholic Church) helps a great deal. #cathdate -8:59

nomoblues @AveMariaSingles #cathdate Maybe not right away but the Catholic humor will fall flat :\ and the evangelization has to begin -9:00 PM

6stonejars So would you consider a non-Catholic in the hope that they will convert later after you get married? #cathdate -9:01 PM

marleyblakedog @AveMariaSingles Usually I don’t flat out say I’m Catholic, but by talking about the Mass, penance, etc it bcomes evident quickly. #cathdate -9:01 PM

trinichiqn @6stonejars We need to agree on the basics for ourselves and our family #cathdate -9:01 PM

MbernadetteE @6stonejars ah, don’t think I could do that. The Catholic view of marriage itself is a very big deal. #cathdate -9:02 PM

marleyblakedog RT @6stonejars: Differences are okay, but having a mutually agreed on authority (the Catholic Church) helps a great deal. #cathdate -9:02 PM

trinichiqn @6stonejars You can’t start a relationship hoping to fix the person so no. accept as is or move on #cathdate -9:02 PM

nomoblues @6stonejars #cathdate I would hope they would convert before with no rush or pressure please -9:03 PM

clsiegel Definitely would not bank on them converting post marriage. If you love them, you love them. It’s a matter if you can love them. #cathdate -9:04 PM

marleyblakedog @6stonejars Conversion b4 marriage. The Catholic understanding of marriage is such that i thnk you need to be it to appreciate it. #cathdate -9:04 PM

6stonejars @trinichiqn I agree completely. Because what if the person does NOT convert as you hoped? #cathdate -9:04 PM

trinichiqn @AveMariaSingles I wear a crucifix so kind of obvious but I don’t generally bring it up. #cathdate -9:04 PM

6stonejars @clsiegel Agreed. Love demands respect for who the person is, never demanding a change. #cathdate -9:05 PM

trinichiqn @6stonejars you may end up bitter and resentful#cathdate -9:06 PM

nomoblues @6stonejars #cathdate *no rush or pressure from me via the relationship, just the call of the Lord 🙂 (salvation, last things, etc) -9:06 PM

AveMariaSingles RT @nomoblues@6stonejars #cathdate *no rush or pressure from me via the relationship, just the call of the Lord 🙂 #cathdate -9:06 PM

6stonejars So how about marrying a non-Catholic whom you love so much and who loves you, and has great character and personality traits? #cathdate -9:08 PM

JesusFreak84 @6stonejars Dated a Protestant once. Never again. Ever. #cathdate -9:09 PM

MbernadetteE @6stonejars dependent upon whether they will respect&accept Cath teaching on marriage/raising children/etc.#cathdate -9:10 PM

lynnetteann3 @6stonejars absolutely! #cathdate -9:10 PM

JesusFreak84 RT @marleyblakedog@6stonejars Conversion b4 marriage. The Catholic understanding of marriage is such that i thnk you need to be it to appreciate it. #cathdate -9:10 PM

6stonejars @MbernadetteE So that means you would consider a non-Catholic under the right circumstances? #cathdate -9:10 PM

nomoblues @6stonejars #cathdate if the goal is to help get each other to heaven, then becoming Catholic is important to the relationship -9:11 PM

lynnetteann3 Amen! RT @Yvadne Dated nonCatholics when I was a “Cafeteria Catholic” now that I’m Roman Catholic it’s not an option. #cathdate -9:11 PM

clsiegel If there is agape, I think things need to progress to marriage with understanding that there will need to be understanding. #cathdate -9:11 PM

MbernadetteE @6stonejars I would consider it, but it seems rather far-fetched. Can’t see it happening for myself personally 🙂#cathdate -9:11 PM

trinichiqn @6stonejars if you can come to agreement of the basics yes. kids raised Catholic, family prayer, open to life, etc #cathdate-9:11 PM

JesusFreak84 RT @lynnetteann3: Amen! RT @Yvadne Dated nonCatholics when I was a “Cafeteria Catholic” now that I’m Roman Catholic it’s not an option. #cathdate –

6stonejars I would agree that marrying a non-Catholic is possible if they agree to respect your faith and raising the kids Catholic.#cathdate -9:13 PM

JesusFreak84 Seeing more males on this hashtag compared to last chat I was in… #cathdate -9:13 PM

marleyblakedog @6stonejars Hopefully, if they love each other fully, they are praying for grace to smooth out differences. Certainly not easy. #cathdate -9:13 PM

6stonejars …however, it’s still a risk. There’s no guarantee they will not change their mind. Best to consider a non-religious GOOD person. #cathdate -9:14 PM

lynnetteann3 @6stonejars in the hope? no, i would not. #cathdate-9:14 P

6stonejars @marleyblakedog Absolutely. Without grace, it will be impossible anyway. Two people who rely on God’s grace is essential. #cathdate -9:15 PM

JesusFreak84 @6stonejars #cathdate Couldn’t do it myself; Catholic is too much of who I am and how I live. Can’t be known apart from it. -9:15 PM

MbernadetteE @6stonejars if God’s grace is essential (and I agree is certainly is), why do you recommend a non-religious good person? #curious #cathdate -9:16 PM

trinichiqn @6stonejars non-religious might be harder since prayer life of both parents are important to me in raising kids #cathdate -9:17 PM

6stonejars @MbernadetteE Fair question. Because a good non-religious person cooperates with God’s grace of sorts, by not be an obstacle. #cathdate -9:18 PM Aug 23rd, 2011

JesusFreak84 @6stonejars #cathdate But what’s to stop the children from following the non-Catholic spouse, especially as teenagers?      =-\ -9:18 PM Aug 23rd, 2011

MbernadetteE @6stonejars hmm, I can see that. An angle I hadn’t previously considered. #cathdate -9:19 PM

marleyblakedog @6stonejars Sure, your differences won’t be doctrinal then, but avoiding hard problems won’t necessarily make the marriage better. #cathdate -9:20 PM Aug 23rd, 2011

trinichiqn @6stonejars @MbernadetteE They may not be an obstacle but they aren’t a help either. #cathdate -9:20 PM

6stonejars I do think someone who shares the faith is best. But I do believe marriage can work with a certain kind of quality non-Catholic. #cathdate -9:21 PM

JesusFreak84 @trinichiqn #cathdate Exactly. -9:21 PM

marleyblakedog @JesusFreak84 @6stonejars That’s a risk even in a dual-Catholic family. We’re all called to be beacons of faith to our children. #cathdate -9:22 PM

6stonejars @trinichiqn Hahaha! Well, not being an obstacle is a BIG help, actually. How many bad Catholics are killing their marriage? #cathdate -9:23 PM

JesusFreak84 @6stonejars #cathdate My parents seem to be doing a pretty equal job of it. (Dad = convert from Methodist, Mom = cradle agnostic-Catholic) -9:24 PM

lynnetteann3 @6stonejars need we go there? many of us are still trying to GET there! (good Catholic marriage) ha! 🙂 #cathdate -9:24 PM

6stonejars @JesusFreak84 And I’m sure their love and mutual respect for each other is what makes their marriage work above all. #cathdate -9:26 PM

JesusFreak84 @6stonejars 140 chars isn’t enough to get into that =-p #cathdate -9:27 PM

6stonejars @lynnetteann3 Hopefully, this kind of talk helps you get there. The desire to be married makes many consider dating non-Catholics #cathdate -9:27 PM

LuciadelCarmen6 RT @6stonejars: I would agree that marrying a non-Catholic is possible if they agree to respect your faith and raising the kids Catholic. #cathdate -9:29 P

6stonejars Thank you for joining us. Our next chat is the day after Labor Day, September 6 at 8:30pm EST. See you then. #cathdate -9:30 PM

lynnetteann3 @6stonejars thank you Anthony for driving this talk/chat and thank the rest of you for joining in #cathdate talk. 🙂 -9:32 PM

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