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September 27 #cathdate transcript

October 4, 2011
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6stonejars Hello everyone. Good to be back. Ready to talk long distance relationships tonight? #cathdate -9:01 PM Sep 27th, 2011

threelittleowls @6stonejars Hi, Trista here! #cathdate I’m ready to chat! -9:03 PM

AveMariaSingles Tonight’s chat: long distance relationships. Go ahead & take a minute to introduce yourself. avemariasingles.wordpress.com #cathdate -9:04 PM

threelittleowls RT @AveMariaSingles: Tonight’s chat: long distance relationships. Go ahead & take a minute to introduce yourself. avemariasingles.wordpress.com #cathdate -9:04 PM

trinichiqn Nikki from Trinidad here #cathdate -9:05 PM Sep 27th, 2011

threelittleowls @nomoblues @AveMariaSingles How ya doing?#cathdate Glad to see someone else is in the chat! -9:05 PM

threelittleowls @trinichiqn Hey Nikki, welcome! #cathdate -9:06 PM

threelittleowls @AveMariaSingles I should mention my boyfriend and I recently started dating and are dealing 600 miles of distance. #cathdate -9:07 PM

6stonejars Does anyone have any long distance relationship experience? #cathdate -9:07 PM

AveMariaSingles @threelittleowls started this topic. 🙂 What exactly are we talking about re: realities of long distance dating?#cathdate -9:07 PM

trinichiqn @threelittleowls Thanks. Hi to you too. #cathdate -9:07 PM

6stonejars Wow, Trista! That’s quite a distance. What are some realities to the situation? #cathdate -9:08 PM

palaminko @6stonejars Gonna be hit-n-run on tonight’s chat. I’ve got experience, but pretty much all bad. #cathdate -9:09 PM

trinichiqn @AveMariaSingles @threelittleowls Is it realistic? How to overcome obstacles #cathdate -9:09 PM

threelittleowls My reality: big distance, little funds, and no vacation time to work with. How to remain close when so far apart for long time? #cathdate -9:09 PM

trinichiqn @threelittleowls @AveMariaSingles I’m dealing with 2 different countries. he’s in the US, I’m in Trinidad #cathdate -9:10 PM

threelittleowls @6stonejars How to know if we are authentically getting to know each other? How to stay spiritually and emotionally close? #cathdate -9:10 PM

6stonejars The biggest hurdle is getting together in person often enough, right? #cathdate -9:11 PM

threelittleowls @6stonejars Most distance dating recommends seeing each other 2x a month but that’s not a reality for us and for@trinichiqn#cathdate -9:11

threelittleowls @6stonejars Exactly! #cathdate What are your takes on that? -9:12 PM

palaminko @threelittleowls 1) Keep each other relevant. Ex: tell each other even about the mundane daily things. #cathdate -9:

6stonejars Writing and phone calls do help to get to know each other authentically. But in person experiences are necessary.#cathdate -9:13 PM

juliemrobison RT @6stonejars: Writing and phone calls do help to get to know each other authentically. But in person experiences are necessary. #cathdate -9:13 PM

palaminko @threelittleowls 2) Pray for each others intentions. Remember why you got into this & why it’s worth striving for#cathdate -9:14 PM

6stonejars What do you think about video chat when in person is not so possible? #cathdate -9:14 PM

threelittleowls @palaminko Very good advice! #cathdate -9:14 PM Sep 27th

palaminko @6stonejars good substitute…so long as you have speedy internet connections 😉 #cathdate -9:15 PM

trinichiqn @6stonejars skype and such is good #cathdate -9:15 PM

trinichiqn @palaminko @threelittleowls I pray a lot for obstacles, intentions, him, us, guidance, is this right #cathdate -9:16 PM

threelittleowls @6stonejars Essential, for sure. It’s good to see facial expressions and seem closer. #cathdate -9:17 PM

threelittleowls @palaminko @6stonejars Yes, and I didn’t own a webcam either, so had to borrow others. Can be an issue.#cathdate -9:18 PM

trinichiqn @palaminko @threelittleowls after telling of my weekend, I was like I’m boring but it’s nice even the boring stuff#cathdate -9:18 PM

threelittleowls @palaminko It’s hard to know “why it’s worth striving for” when you barely know the person. Weird investment at the start. #cathdate -9:19 PM

6stonejars 90%+ of communication is non-verbal. So you really can’t get too far until you can experience the non-verbal.#cathdate -9:20 PM

6stonejars The investment made in writing and phone calls do help inspire wanting to meet in person. And it has to happen some how. #cathdate -9:22 PM

threelittleowls @6stonejars What about after the first few meetings? How would you advise proceeding? #cathdate -9:24 PM

LuciadelCarmen6 RT @6stonejars: Writing and phone calls do help to get to know each other authentically. But in person experiences are necessary. #cathdate -9:25 PM

6stonejars After meeting in person, you should know if there was something there worth continuing. Write and call in between meetings. #cathdate -9:26 PM

6stonejars It’s costly and time consuming to meet in person. But it has to be done. And the return on investment can be HUGE!#cathdate -9:27 PM

AveMariaSingles It sounds as if time zones also present a challenge for @threelittleowls and @trinichiqn (for calls, web chats) #cathdate -9:28 PM

6stonejars Best to meet in person early on to determine if the connection is really there. If it is, you can get by with longer intervals. #cathdate -9:29 PM

trinichiqn @6stonejars something to think about #cathdate -9:29 PM

threelittleowls RT @6stonejars: It’s costly and time consuming to meet in person. But it has to be done. And the return on investment can be HUGE! #cathdate -9:30 PM

6stonejars How about willingness to move? Should that be considered before engaging in a long distance relationship?#cathdate -9:32 PM

threelittleowls @6stonejars That has been my experience, yes.#cathdate -9:32 PM

trinichiqn @6stonejars Definitely. Even if it is unlikely you are going to have too. #cathdate -9:33 PM

threelittleowls @6stonejars Temptations: Chastity may be a little easier (though not entirely) but many others like jealously pop up. Advice? #cathdate -9:34 PM

6stonejars I agree, it should. You can’t assume the other will move. If you can’t move, you need to discuss that early on.#cathdate -9:34 PM

palaminko @6stonejars Sorry if this has already been brought up…but there has to be an obtainable “endgame”. #cathdate -9:34

threelittleowls @6stonejars Yes, you really have to think about that. #cathdate -9:34 PM

palaminko @threelittleowls You’d face it the same as any relationship: lots of communication & trust. But you’ll have to work at it harder. #cathdate -9:36 PM

6stonejars Long distance helps chastity while focusing on learning about each other. Not sure what you mean about jealousy.#cathdate -9:36 PM

trinichiqn @6stonejars the unknown because you aren’t around each other regularly #cathdate -9:38 PM

threelittleowls @6stonejars Oh, maybe about couples with closer or no distances, etc. #cathdate -9:38 PM

6stonejars I think those who make efforts with a long distance relationship are proving they are commitment minded and seriously interested. #cathdate -9:39 PM

threelittleowls RT @6stonejars: I think those who make efforts with a long distance relationship are proving they are commitment minded and seriously interested. #cathdate -9:40 PM

heaven_chill RT @6stonejars: I think those who make efforts with a long distance relationship are proving they are commitment minded and seriously interested. #cathdate -9:43 PM

trinichiqn @6stonejars It is a commitment and builds trust#cathdate -9:43 PM

6stonejars It seems for devout Catholics, long distance relationships provide a wider opportunity since devout Catholics are a minority. #cathdate -9:48 PM

palaminko @6stonejars That’s a good point and I think it’s a worthwhile consideration for Catholics in less populous areas.#cathdate -9:50 PM

6stonejars Even in high populous areas, devout Catholics meet lots of Catholics who don’t believe all the Church teaches.#cathdate -9:53 PM

palaminko @6stonejars Still, I’m only in favor if there’s 1) regular chances to see each other & 2) a plan to end up in the same place soon #cathdate -9:53 PM

palaminko @6stonejars Then isn’t the strategery to be where all the devout ones are? 😉 #cathdate -9:54 PM

trinichiqn @palaminko @6stonejars or evangelize to the less devout #cathdate -9:55 PM

palaminko @trinichiqn I like your tactic! Though, admittedly, I have a very terrible track record with evangelization via dating.#cathdate -9:57 PM

6stonejars That’s just it. The devout ones are spread out all over the world, minorities even among their own in high Catholic areas.#cathdate -9:58 PM

6stonejars Another fast hour. Thank you all for participating. We will see you back here in two weeks. And see you on http://www.6stonejars.com. #cathdate -10:01 PM

AveMariaSingles Transcript will be posted soon for anyone who is interested. #cathdate -10:02 PM

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