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Catholic Dating and Remaining Chaste: It’s Okay to be Proud

November 20, 2011

Whether you’re in your 20s or your 60s, the secular world puts a great deal of pressure on committed Catholics who wish to remain in keeping with Catholic doctrine and refrain from pre-marital sex. Read how affirming these beliefs is critical when in Catholic dating.

Let’s face it. We have all had that talk with one of our friends. You know, the one where they are shocked to find out that we don’t participate in premarital sexual relations. I remember the first time I had to have this conversation. I feel like it was yesterday. His name was Cody, and he was the self-proclaimed leader of the atheist movement at my high school. I still remember the surprised look on his face when he asked in astonishment, “Wait, you mean to tell me that you don’t do any of that stuff? What’s your problem? Are you gay or something?”

Honestly, I wish I had come up with a better answer at the time. In hindsight, it’s self-evident that “It’s just how I was raised. Leave me alone.” was probably not the best response, but it was all I could come up with at the moment.

At the time, I remember feeling embarrassed at my ignorance, and I would give anything to be able to go back in time knowing what I know now. A more adequate answer would be: “The truth is Cody, I believe that sex is sacred and is meant to be shared between husband and wife in marriage. This is how it was designed, and any variation from this plan is inadequate and empty. The question then is not, “Why don’t I”, but rather, “Why do you? Does it really bring you genuine happiness? Or make you feel fulfilled?”

Dealing with the Pre-Marital Sex Issue Into Adulthood

Catholics must recognize that as we get older, there is an even higher expectancy for us to have pre-marital sex, even in new relationships. This is why it is essential to look for people to date from traditional Catholic communities, and to broach the subject of pre-martial sex very early on in a relationship. We must be willing to end a relationship if the other person we are dating are wide apart on the pre-marital sex issue — and doing so can be increasingly difficult if we allow a relationship to progress with someone who does not share our same values.

As Catholics, we must understand that we think differently, and thus, live differently; therefore, we should be proud to date differently.

Just because we don’t follow social norms does not mean that we are missing out on anything. In fact, we are gaining everything. Catholic dating should not be viewed as this sort of “fast before the great feast”. Rather, it is a wonderful opportunity to grow in holiness together. It is a challenge, yes, but it is also a gift, and like every gift, it should be shared. It is our responsibility to proudly live out our Catholic faith, especially in our relationships, and to share it with the “Codys” of the world.

Each day presents itself as an opportunity to do so.

Thanks for reading our article! Are you committed to dating and forming a romantic relationship with someone else who feels the same way about chastity, pre-marital sex, and faith as you do? Ave Maria Singles is one of the leading catholic dating websites on the Internet today. 

As a bonus, use promo code AMSBLOG when subscribing to Ave Maria Singles and get 10% off your subscription, just for reading this article! Take a look!

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Mary permalink
    November 21, 2011 2:33 pm

    Yes, even at the age of nearly 60 I am committed. As a widow married 27 years I feel as called to this commitment as if I were never married. I am either living a life in Christ or not! There is no middle ground. Great article!

  2. November 26, 2011 2:32 pm

    Mary, I am sure the Lord is going to bless you abundantly for your conviction. Thank you for sharing.

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