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Catholic Dating Tips: A Guy’s Five “Must B’s” For A Successful First Date

November 20, 2011

catholic dating in front of a cathedralFor men, meeting a devout Catholic lady that feels the same way about her faith as you do is only the beginning. Read about the importance of the first date in Catholic dating, and how first impressions are crucial to discerning if she is the right match for you — and if you’re worthy of a second date.

Gentlemen, God willing, you’ve already managed to meet a lady via your Church, Catholic dating website, or some other venue that at first glance shares your same values. That being said, it takes more than just sharing the same Catholic faith and values to have a successful first date – presenting yourself in an honest, attractive manner is critical to giving your first date the best chance for becoming the first of many.

Be On Time

The whole idea that “cool guys arrive casually late” may be glorified in high school chick flicks, but the reality is, women don’t like to wait; just ask your Mom. Make sure you know exactly where she lives — or where you are planning to meet — and plan accordingly. Perhaps planning a casual date — like a simple coffee — just after a Church event (maybe the event where you first met) might be a good first step, and an easy date to show up on-time for. Showing up late can really handicap the rest of your evening, so be attentive to this simple rule.

Be Creative

Save spontaneity for the second or maybe the third date. A man who plans ahead by having an engaging, entertaining first date shows the woman that she is worth the effort. Some combination of entertainment and food is a smart choice, but be sure you leave an adequate amount of time to get to know each other. And considering that you and she ostensibly share common values on issues of faith, Catholic dating, and the Church, planning a first date with time for talk is essential. I recommend a nice long walk at some point. Moving while you talk tends to ease tension and cuts down on those awkward silences.

Be Interested

Focus on her. Don’t allow yourself to be distracted by her physical beauty or the thought of future wedding bells. Be present with her, live in the moment, and above all, ask questions. How else do you plan on getting to know her? Even if you know that you and she share the same Catholic values already, now is the time to fill in the gaps and learn how she arrived at her faith through her own personal experiences. Also, remember that as Christians, we are called to “die to self” and embrace our relationship with God. That same ethic should be present in our relationships as well — consider this when engaging your date in conversation.

Be Yourself

This may be a bit cliché, but I don’t believe we can hear it enough. Remember, she wants to get to know you, not your best ‘Brad Pitt’ impersonation, as entertaining as that might be. This is particularly true in the Catholic dating community, where men and women are looking for more than just the superficial, opting instead for truth and honesty. For men, it can be hard to let go of some of the machismo and reveal the side of their faith that shows modesty, humility, and vulnerability. But that is ultimately what a devout Catholic lady would see as attractive when dating. And although it may be hard to admit, if she does not like you now, then it probably wouldn’t work out in the long run anyways; so do yourself a favor, and save the time by being the same “self” that you are in front of the tabernacle.

Be Grateful

This is the key to every first date. If you truly enjoy the experience, you will never have another “failed” date again. Following my tips does not guarantee that your next first date will be your last, but it does ensure that you will never again take for granted the blessing and privilege that it is to get to know another person.

As Catholics we must give glory to the Lord in all things. Recognizing His hand in our lives is an essential part of properly living out our faith and Catholic dating should not be an exception to this rule.

God Bless and good luck!

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