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The two most fatal online dating profile faux pas

February 19, 2014

Last month during the annual Ave Maria cruise, we discussed two of the most fatal mistakes people make in their online dating profile. These seem like obvious Things To Avoid, but trust us, close to 20 years experience would indicate that these tips bear repeating.

online dating

Without further ado: What not to do on your online dating profile.

1. Leave your profile picture blank. 

If you have no photo, you quite literally may as well not be there. No one can see you. Yes, people should love you for who you are as a person. Certainly, beauty is only skin deep. Indeed, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Nevertheless. You must have a photo, or no one is going to pause in their scrolling of hundreds of profiles to stop and see the person of you. Or your inner beauty. You must upload a photo. It must be a recent photo. It should be captioned with the year it was taken. If you don’t have a recent photo of yourself that you like, ask a friend to take one. Take one with your cell phone. Any photo in which we can clearly see your face is better than no photo.

And speaking of photos:

Your profile photo should not have your best friend, your sister, your mother, or any other human being in it. Don’t place yourself in the embarrassing situation of someone being more interested in your buddy than in you. And NEVER EVER, under any circumstance, post a profile picture of yourself with someone of the opposite sex. Lastly, it’s wonderful that you love your nephew/godchild/grandchild. My nephew is the cutest baby on the face of the planet, I think. But no babies or kids in your profile picture.

It is perfectly fine to share a great photo of yourself with someone you love in your extra photos. That shows your personality and is very fun for prospective matches. Just keep your loved ones off your profile picture. Seriously. No exceptions.

2. Leave your opening statement blank. 

Your opening statement is the first thing people see when viewing your profile. In some most cases, it is the only thing people see. Leaving this blank is just as bad as having no photo. Only the first couple of lines appear in searches, so make it pop! Start out strong. This is a great spot of your profile to share about YOU. Make people smile or laugh – that makes you stand out and keeps the reader browsing the rest of your profile .

People need something to respond to. 

A common complaint is: “I don’t receive any messages.” You will certainly not receive any messages if you do not have an opening statement. This is because there is nothing to respond to. If you share a bit about yourself, your interests, what you’re looking for, why you can be reached online, it gives people something interesting to message you about. Remember: we aren’t meeting each other in person, where we can often use environmental circumstances to strike up a conversation (e.g. Isn’t this band just awful?). All I have to go on is what you give me. So give me something. Anything! If you are having trouble writing about yourself, ask a friend. They can certainly help sum up your personality.

And please. Don’t mention that you enjoy long walks on the beach. Keep your beach walk commentary off your opening statement – unless you loathe walking on the beach. Now that? That I would write to you about.

One Comment leave one →
  1. March 11, 2014 11:50 pm

    I do agree with your article specially with putting your profile pic. I do agree that when you put your pic in your profile pic, it should be the latest one or at least one year ago if you don’t have the latest one. As you say “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” so it is very important to pud photos in your profile.

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