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describe the person you are seeking.

December 5, 2014
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On AveMariaSingles, we have a portion of the profile called “My Personal Interests” and a section of that is called “describe the person you are seeking.”

Counter productive as it may be, this subsection of the profile and this particular feed are the most likely to be left blank on a profile. This is huge mistake! Although the spiritual aspect of a person is incredibly important, you are seeking to marry an individual, which interests, fears, hopes, and dreams. fictional

How to tackle this tricky part of the profile? We’re here to help!

Worst possible answer:

A blank space.

I don’t know what you’re looking for in another person at all, so I have to assume it’s not me.

Bad:

Overly intimidating or overly vague answers!

Overly intimidating statements such as “I’m looking for someone who can keep up with me!” could be better accepted as “seeking fellow go-getter.”

Overly vague statements such as “I’m seeking a partner on the road to heaven” doesn’t give potential matches something concrete to go on. Adding specific details shows more of your personality to potential matches and gives them the opportunity to contact you with something interesting.

Instead of “I’m seeking a partner on the road to heaven,” try including a specific aspect of the faith life that is important for you, such as a devotion to Eucharistic Adoration. Make sure to include some non-faith elements as well.

Better:

A thoughtful answer that cites specific things you’re seeking.

“Looking for someone fun-loving, spiritual, and dedicated. If you love dogs and Chinese food, even better. Sunday Mass followed by brunch would be a great first date!”

(This is still a little vague and could be longer. However, it’s much better than nothing at all or a very vague and short answer. The specifics in the second half (dogs, Chinese food, ideal first date) are great. Change the vague first sentence to “Looking for someone who loves roller coasters, prays the rosary daily, and is passionate about their career” and you’ve got something specific and unique.

Best:

A thorough, interesting description of what you’re looking for in another person that is unique and specific – but not so specific that it excludes potential interested parties! 

Here are real-life examples from David and Noelle McHugh, our guest speakers on this year’s cruise. They met on AveMariaSingles. Here are their answers:

Noelle: I am looking for someone who enjoys spending quality time with friends and family, who views the Catholic faith as a priority and life-force, who would be interested in hanging out with crazy teen youth groups, and who is self-driven. I am looking for someone who is ready to have a serious relationship headed towards marriage. I want to be able to find spiritual, moral, and emotional support in this person. I am hoping for someone light-hearted, funny, outgoing, excited about life, open to adventure, likes to travel, likes to cook… 🙂

NB: Notice that Noelle specifics someone who would be interested in hanging out with youth groups, as opposed to asking for a youth minister or someone who has experience with youth groups.

David: I am seeking someone who is both trusting and trustful. I would like to be with someone who is family oriented. Resilience is another quality I look for, someone who is able to bounce back when things do not go well. Christ should be the center of her life.

NB: David specifies someone who is able to bounce back when things don’t go their way. This is a specific quality. It’s also subjective, meaning it’s someone’s opinion that they fit this description. Specific yet subjective qualities are a great way to make your profile inviting to someone that God might have in mind for you!

Think of the “describe the person you are seeking” as talking to a good friend over coffee, and express your thoughts that way. Or e-mail us and we are happy to review your profile for you and offer suggestions!

If you’re interested in meeting Noelle and David and asking about their online dating success story, make sure to register for our cruise!

 

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